


Twin Stars, Twin Hearts

by Isrut



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bodhi Rook Lives, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hell most of them live, Not Canon Compliant, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Post Rogue One, Slow Burn, You are a former fighter pilot for the empire, cassian andor lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isrut/pseuds/Isrut
Summary: You are a former imperial fighter pilot form Jelucan. You had defected to the Rebellion after realizing the empire isn't at all what you had pledged to fight for. You were part of the Rebellion before Bodhi Rook came on the scene.  Though honored for his heroics on Scarif you are one of the few that will run missions with him. It took a while for the rebellion to trust you, and you remember that feeling. You take a mission to go undercover at a small base to gather information. But with just you, Bodhi and K2 as the crew, you wonder if you can pull it off.(Basically this is an excuse to write Bodhi.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y/N=Your Name

The cargo ship slips silently through hyper space. You’ve checked over the coordinates in the navi computer a few times over and take a moment to gaze at the star streaked viewport. Slowly, you draw your thumb over your bottom lip in gentle admiration. Ever since you were a kid this is what you dreamed of, flying ships and getting off world. Lots of kids from Jelucan did, when the Empire came and made their mark. You remember Grand Moff Tarkin’s words from where you stood on supply crates in the back of the crowds. _"People of Jelucan, today represents both an ending and a beginning. On this day ends your isolation from the greater galaxy. Instead, Jelucan begins a new and glorious future by assuming its rightful place within the Empire!"_ You know now what that meant. You were one of thousands who had applied for the imperial academy and one of hundreds who made it to actual service. One of the very few who defected.

 

You lick your lips lightly at the memory. You were running envoy defense to important cargo, you had done it many times and had never really left your ship when docking for loading and unloading. Was told not to. Figured it was protocol and waved it off. But one trip you needed to hop out for a stretch and a break, it was allowed this once. You were led back into the building, and what you saw in route stopped you heart dead in its tracks. Slaves of all ages and races, mostly very old or very young, beaten raw, were moving heavy loads of ore and minerals. This isn’t what you thought it was. The trip was to a mining colony on Burnin Konn where people worked with the empire selling what was mined there. But this was slavery outright.

 

You had to glue your feet to the ground when a human child no older than 11 tripped and dropped an arm full of ore. Two guards moved in on him and you turned away at the screams when he was punished, forced yourself to move on. You didn’t know. You were suppose to just fly and guard the cargo freighters. Maybe it was an isolated incident, but it weighed on you night after night. This wasn’t the order and balance you had fought for, but you were too scared to leave. It took weeks before you realized that you weren’t the only one who was shook by the deeds sanctioned by the Empire. A few of you and your fellow cadets had talked in the quiet corners of the barracks about what they had seen and what you all could do. You had heard of the rebellion, at time it was rumor, it was small, but it would get you out of the Empire’s clutches. It was going against oath you took at the academy, it was a knife twisting in your gut to do so. But you didn’t follow the old ways and rules of Jelucan as closely as others did. To break an oath is to cut ties with your home, religion, and honor, but what honor was there in this….

 

“Y/N” A voice draws you out of the hypnotic view of hyperspace and you turn your head to face the sound. There, fidgeting in the doorway was one of your crew for this mission. His imperial coveralls sobered you some. He had defected too. But today, both he and you would be infiltrating a small base with K2-SO.

 

“Rook.” You voice is steady and calm as you stand up a bit straighter. “Finished going over the files?” His hands clenched, there was a small sheen of sweat on his brow, you noticed how some of his hair laid damp on it. To hide who he was they cropped his hair and gave him a clean shave. With an imperial hat and uniform he would be glanced over. He was nervous and it showed as he glanced behind him and stammered a moment.

 

“I-I did. Yes. But you see, Kay-too has been-” He stops as you come forward and clap him on the shoulder. He flinches. The terrors he’s been through still are close to the surface of his psyche, you forget that at times. You give his shoulder a little squeeze.

 

“Don’t listen to that pile of scrap.” You say loud enough to be heard in the back, where K2 calls back at you with a response that is lost under your words. “We go in. We grab the data we need, we come back. We know the protocol and it’ll be fine.” You give him a reassuring smile, you feel him quake for a moment under your hand before he nods. His demeanor seems to change before your eyes, he takes a breath and continues.

 

“I looked over the files. I will direct us down to the landing pad. The mission should take no longer than two hours. If we take longer… K2 is suppose to leave without us.”

 

“Gladly!” He chimes in as he clanks around the corner.

 

“It won’t take that long.” You say and give the droid a pointed look. “We have a few hours before we get there, rest, relax, get into character and we’ll be ready to go soon.” Your hand slips from Bodhi’s shoulder and you move past him. His eyes are trained on your back as you go. You don’t doubt Bodhi Rook. His nerves showed his caution and a survival nature that got him through Saw Gerrera’s interrogations and got him off Scarif when everyone thought that team was lost. Had you been on base at the time, you would have gone too. You probably would have died. So very few made it back. You know that when it’s time to get his head in the game, Bodhi Rook is brave and smart and quick. He’s almost a completely different person. He still has trouble from time to time and usually keeps to the base. Very few trusted the ex-imperial pilot, even after his heroics, but other defectors made sure to try to make him feel at ease. This is his first real mission in a while.

 

You haven’t changed into your Imperial gear yet. Doing your best to avoid it as long as possible. Instead you grab a small snack, drop onto a bench and flick through the holodata. The clack of metal feet comes up behind you as K2 looms over. Had Cassian not given him the orders to go on this mission and not kill them, you were sure this would be going in a very different direction.

 

“No need to scare him like that Kaytoo.” You mumble and scan over the data.

 

“Why do I care?” He monotones back.

 

“We’ll have you back to your buddy soon. You’re important for this mission.” You sigh and look up into the lights that are his eyes. “I know you didn’t have a choice but thank you for coming.” K2 watches you silently and then looks off to a wall.

 

“Your probability-”

 

“Aannnddd I’m done.” You cut him off, at least you tried. “Go tell it to a wall.” You say shifting to lean back on the bit of bench. K2 says some other things in your direction as he plods off but you tune it out. Bodhi had the first hour of flight time to rereview the data. It was your turn now.

 

It gave a read out of the crew you were trying to be, a ship docking for rest at a nearby base that needed to refuel while moving cargo. You had decoy crates in the hold and a manifest to reflect actual cargo and destination. It hits close to home, in the sense this is basically what you did for the Empire the whole time you worked with them. But it also meant that you, Bodhi and hopefully K2 would slip back easily into those roles. You nod off after 45 minutes of review. It’s a dreamless sleep.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

“Stay calm.” You hear yourself say as time ticks down. You’ve gathered the data you needed from the base, Bodhi’s call signs and checks had gotten the two of you where you needed to go and back. The terminal, though, was deeper in the base than you both had thought. Bodhi tried his best to give K2 a heads up that this may take longer than anticipated, but the lack of response back made you both uneasy. Now, with the data in tow all that was left was to walk back, casually, to your ship thank refuelers and leave.

 

“I’m calm, are you calm?” Bodhi’s voice was barely over a whisper but it was steeped in anxiety. Your hand brushes against his, you both are walking too close together.

 

“Shhh, ahead.” You nod to a check point. Bodhi slips back into his character and you ready yourself. You monotonously give your name rank and number, Bodhi does the same.

 

“Ah yes, Captain Asche, your ship is ready to depart.” The officer said and you give him a small but curt smile.

 

“Thank you for use of your facilities.” You intone in the way you remember speaking to higher or equal ranks in the service. Bodhi stands silent and you give a small salute, Bodhi is your echo, and walk on.

 

Neither of you say a word as you reach the tarmac. You skin is itching to get out of this uniform, you wish you could walk faster without drawing notice to yourselves. You see your ship, K2 is looking through the viewport at you and begins warming it up. You guide Bodhi up the ramp first. Then nod to those few mechanics at attention near the ship. Your heart nearly stops as you recognize one, and she sure as hell recognizes you. You were bunkmates. Faltering, you almost trip. Marit Narem, mechanic to your fighter, knows you as a deserter. She is staring at you, and is starting to walk forward, mouth opening to say something. She’s going to blow your cover. You walk briskly inside, slamming your hand on the hatch button, feeling your heart ache and tremble.

 

“KAYTOO GO!” You yell up to the cockpit. You scramble to get to outfit off as you walk up to the where they sit, feeling the ship begin to lift off. “Cover may be blown, we have to go before they alert anyone.” K2 didn’t physically acknowledge you but made a sound similar to an ‘I told you so’. Bodhi though looks back at you while turning in his chair, confusion and panic in his eyes.

 

“How-” He starts but you cut him off.

 

“Just go! Punch it from here, I don’t care.” You almost growl, flush out of embarrassment and anger. “I’m going to slide into the gun well, just incase.” You leave the jacket of the uniform discarded on the ground. You hear footsteps following after you but they stop, as if thinking better of it and go back to the cockpit.

 

The roster must not have been updated. You had looked it over for familiar names before the mission so something like this wouldn’t happen. Both you and Bodhi did. You ball your hands into fists and press them against your eyes.

 

“This is bantha shit.” You mumble to yourself before taking up the headset and turning on the comm. “Keep your eyes on the radar…” You tell the crew and bring your guns online. Sure enough it’s not long before some TIE fighters are screaming after the ship. You only just made it out of the atmosphere and need to clear them before the jump. Bodhi and K2 are trying to fly to get them off your tail. It’s hard, still is, to shoot down a TIE. Most pilots were just doing the job, they don’t know what horrors were happening. It could be a friend or a classmate. But right now they were attacking you and you choose a side. Distracted, you miss your first few shots.

 

“If you keep shooting like that, Y/N, the probability-”

 

“Shut up!” You cut off K2 sharply. “Not now.” You squeeze off two more shots and take down a tie, which collides with another. “How many are up?”

 

“Seven now.” Bodhi replies. “Shield is up and if we can take down a few more we could make a jump.” His voice is methodical almost calming as he is more in his element.

 

“Right. Line them up and I can take them down.” Your reply is attempting to be light, it failed somewhere but not completely.

 

“Roger that.” You could almost hear a smile in his voice. You take a deep breath and watch as space spins before you. As the TIEs come into your sights, you take them down, one-by-one. However, a TIE in you blind spot gets through the shield and takes down your gun. Sirens are going off in the enclosed space. You need to move and seal it off, you can get it under control when you’re clear of the fight. But right now equipment is sparking and smoke is starting to fill the well as you move to unbuckle yourself. It burns your lungs and makes it hard to breath. You manage to get word to the cockpit. “Now’s a better time than-”

 

You are slammed back in your seat, and the streaks of hyperspace fill your vision before you black out.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing you notice is the massive pain running from your neck down your spine. You stir and it agitates it. There’s a muffled sound by you, in the darkness, then a cooling cloth on your cheeks and forehead. You feel your face twitch into a soft grimace and slowly open your eyes, blinking into the bright lights of what seems to be the cabin.

 

“Y/N…” The voice, Bodhi, says in confirmation of his own relief. “Kaytoo, she’s up.” He said into his comm. You turn your head to look at him. Someone wheezes, you realizes it’s you as your lungs burn with the large intake of breath. You try to move, but a hand steadies you. “Hey, no we are not doing that.” Bodhi softly, or is he talking normally and you just can’t hear clearly. Your eyes begin to slip close and he pats your cheek a few times. “Y/N, you have to stay awake. We’re almost back to Yavin. I think you have a bad concussion.”

 

“What…” The sound that comes through your throat is raspy and strained. Breathing stings and you start coughing and pain explodes through you. Bodhi mumbles to himself a moment and reaches out for a bottle and puts it to your lips. Gently, so gently, he lifts your head. You drink and the cool liquid seems to soothe you some. There’s a bit of silence, you feel like sleeping again but Bodhi begins to speak.

 

“We didn’t realize…” His mouth opens and shuts a few times. “We would have waited for you to be properly strapped… We found you crumpled in the gun well, smoke and blood. I only know so much about patching someone up... “ You look at him, trying to stay focused. Concern creases at his brow, he still seems a bit out of focus.

 

“Back…” More of a whisper than a question.

 

“Yeah, Looks bad. Not broken just.” His head tilts some and his brows furrow more, if that’s possible. “I’m just a pilot…” His mouth hangs and you smile, just a bit, and he softens.

 

“I’m tired, Bodhi…” You sigh, and let your head lull slightly to one side.

 

“No… no no. No sleeping.” He said in a slightly panicked tone. And you groan and try to move. “No moving. I promise, not much longer. Uhm…” he tries to push back his hair, nervous habit, but the cropped length keeps him from following through with it. “How’s your throat? Why… not tell me something…” You frown slightly, but talking might just keep you awake enough. K2 warbles over the comm, they must be coming out of hyperspace. You almost zone out thinking it over, looking at Bodhi’s hopeful face.

 

“In… Jelucan, I lived on a farm that raised muunyaks.” You smile at the memory. Your mother and you turning the munnyaks loose to graze when there was enough vegetation to do so. Helping you father with milking and birthing. “People used them… to go over mountains.” You swallowed thickly and began coughing again. You felt Bodhi’s arms around you, holding you still so you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. When the fit passed you slouched into him, a silence spreading through the room. Softly, his voice filled your ear.

 

“I was born on Jedha. Near the holy city.” You can feel sleep trying to take you, but though soft, his words hold a strange pain. Jedha. With the crater in half the world due to the Death Star. “My mother, she was beautiful. She wanted me to do great things and leave the planet. Do all the things she’d never be able to do.” He paused, easing you back down into a laying position. “She sold food in the market, the favorite stall of all the natives and pilgrims. Her hair always smelled of spices...” He trailed off again and blinked a few times, was he crying? No. But it was hard to tell, your vision was swimming a little.

 

“It’s okay…” You said giving his hand a limp pat. “It’s okay…” You don’t remember what happened from there as you seemed to slip back into darkness.

 

\--------------------------------

 

You awoke in a panic, submerged in a bacta tank. Either the struggle or heightened heart beat bought a droid over to the tank. It went round the tank a moment, observing before draining the tank, releasing you from the substance. Now, you stand in nothing but damp underthings shivering as the droid takes your vitals.You’re mentally still in shock and you’ll still have some aches, but all the other damage has been healed. There had been damage to the lungs that the doctors were able to heal in enough time to not have lasting damage. There had been lacerations to your back, but the bacta healed that up well enough. That was the worst of the damage. It took two days in the tank, and they bring you up to speed on your health. The doctors help you to the med-bay sonic shower. You’d much rather have jumped in the river near by, you still feel like you have a film of bacta on you. Someone had brought a pair of your clothes over and you dressed in silence, testing your joints as you move. You thought you’d be leaving right away but instead, you find that you’re about to get a debriefing...from Cassian Andor who looks livid. He starts slowly, going over some parts of the mission, but it’s not long before he’s just exploding.

 

“What happened out there!” He seethes, his accent making his words more pointed. You realize now it’s less debriefing, more chiding.

 

“We made it back, with the information….” You start, though your mouth feels thick and cottony.  

 

“You compromised the mission. You’ve never given me problems before, Y/LN.” _My last name? He’s really pissed._ You glance down but Cassian was unrelenting, his finger jabbed at your shoulder. “It was the easiest mission-”

 

“She wasn’t on the roster!” You clap back, finding your courage for a moment. “I can’t know if someone's there if the roster isn’t up to date!” A wave of nausea falls over you, making your body sway a moment before charging forward. “We didn’t stick around, we left, I shot some TIEs and we got home.”

 

Cassian tried to grab your arm as you drew past, but you snatched it away and froze in your tracks. He stared at your back a moment, _He’s probably wondering if he should continue ripping me a new one_ , you think, but don’t turn to face him. It seems to be a nonverbal stalemate, but Cassian is the first to relent.

 

“I’m going to send you a datapad with the rest of the debriefing. You will come to me in the morning and report, Y/LN.” He said curtly. He was mad, he had a right to be. You should have never faltered during the mission, kept walking right past the group keeping in complete character. But you never thought the past would come back to haunt you like that. You straighten a moment and then turn your gaze on Cassian.

 

“Yes…Captain Andor…” You sigh and wander out of Medbay to find your bunk. You may have just woken up but sleep, real sleep, is what you wanted now. Your feet carry you out of the bay and turn you down the hall. Bodhi is there, sitting on the floor with his head resting back against the cool temple walls. He’s murmuring to himself with his eyes closed, you only notice because you practically trip over him. You catch yourself on the wall and Bodhi snaps his eyes open and clambers up to standing, moving to help you. But you wave him off and laugh just a little.

 

“What are you doing?” You ask trying to look less tired and more okay than you are. Bodhi gestures vaguely behind him.

 

“You were out for a few days. I had heard you woke and…” He trails off losing his thoughts for a moment, then he seems to jump to a new line of thinking. “I told them to hold some food in the mess for you. They just finished breakfast.” His smile is boyish, relieved to see you standing mostly hale and hearty. You waiver just long enough to see his smile wane, he tucks his head some and takes a step back. “You probably have oth-”

 

“Hey, no, let’s go.” You say, mustering some brightness to your voice. “I’ll rest better on a full stomach.” You swing an arm over his shoulders, feeling him sway with the motion. The ache of moving to that extent pulls at you, but this way you could almost lean on him. “Catch me up. Cassian was a downright ass in there.”

 

Bodhi’s eyes widen some. “You should have heard him when we landed! Kaytoo was no help. And I thought Saw was scary? Cassian being crossed is even worse.” He joked, which made you smile abit. He’s starting to make jokes. It’s good, or you hope it’s good. Bodhi didn’t talk about those days much, you only knew what happened from debriefings and rumors.

 

“I’m sorry, it was my fault, it seems.” You said as you both turn a corner, some pilots wave in your general direction, and you wave slightly back. “I was in charge, it’s my blame. I let my guard down. Put you and his droid in danger. I’m sure the datapad his left me is puts me in scathing light.” You roll your eyes some and look back at Bodhi who seems to have just been smiling while you chattered on. You give a short puff of a laugh. “Rook, you need to grow your hair back out. You look like you’re twelve.” He looks aghast.

 

“I do not.” He subconsciously rubs his face over his cheek. His beard had just started to slowly come back in, a short sparse stubble. You free your arm from around him and muss up the back of his head. You can feel the patches that are missing, where the scars from Bor Gullet were. He seems to notice and shifts away from your touch. Your thoughts from the trip resurface in your mind. _The terrors he’s been through still are close to the surface of his psyche._  He may be making jokes, but it still pains him, embarrasses him.

 

“A bit. Does make you look younger.” You say, trying to keep the levity going. Bodhi scratches above his ear in gentle thought as you reach the door. You thumb the code into the mess hall, the smell of food hits you. Where you didn’t think you were hungry before, you feel ravenous now. Moving to the whims of your stomach, you trip forward, taking lilting steps toward the serving area.

 

You don’t get a choice, though, in food. But Rin, a female Twi’lek, had saved a good portion off to the side, and an extra tray for Bodhi. You try not to frown, your plate had a lot of the food you tended to avoid. Rin catches the look and shakes a pale teal finger your way.

 

“Eat it, all of it.” Her accented tone was admonishing. Everyone had it out for you today. “I made sure I gave you all the things to make you strong.” She gave you a pointed look and you slowly withered under her gaze.

 

“Yes, alright, Rin. I get it.” You mumble and smile, just a bit anyway. “Thanks.”

 

“Don’t thank me, thank your friend.” She pushed one her her lekku behind her shoulder, a Twi’lek version of a hair flip and walked to finish cleaning up. You take up the trays, and walk to where Bodhi had settled at. His leg bounced, his fingers drumming near his temple, anxiously working through something. You stride over, settling his tray down which startles him out of his thoughts, then your own. You have mostly greens, seems like that was the most left behind thing. Rin swore that these greens had more protein than the meat they served here but you were sure the meat tasted better.

 

“Thank you.” He said gently and you snort softly.

 

“No, thank you. I would have just gone to bed hungry.” You muse and push around the greens on your plate, finding the few bits of meat hidden in the meal.

 

“You were going to bed? But you just got out of the tank.” Bodhi noted curiously, leaning over his food some to eat, he didn’t care what it was, food was food and it was better than some of the food he’d get in imperial service. You would know. Pilots didn’t get the best meals, just fast ones.

 

“Yeah but I want real sleep.” You say tearing off a piece of the bread to sop up some juices. You don’t want him to worry about it or think on it long. “Tell me more. Was the data we got helpful?” You ask quietly and and stuffed the sopping bread in your mouth. Bodhi bobbed his head a few time, working through his bite of food before pointing his fork your way.

 

“It was. It got us updated base points, and we may be able to move bases soon. The Empire is still reeling from… from what we did.” He frowns a moment. You share that cold feeling too. There were people you knew, good people, on the Death Star when it went down. This was war, though, and it sometimes made you stomach turn. Both sides have done things they’re not proud of. You brush your fingertips over his. _Go on_ , you try to say, silently.

 

“They are going to send out a scouting party to a few potentials. But I’ll be sad to leave all this. It’s so green.” He laughs a moment and you grin at him, sharing that sentiment.

 

“This Moon has been a good place, I enjoy how different it is from home. I don’t miss the dry cold of the mountains.” You snort at that. “I hope the new base is just as warm.”

 

“I don’t miss the cold at all.” He said excitedly. “I mean, home, yeah I miss home.” He said stumbling a bit over his words but he picked it right back up. “But cold desert nights? Terrible.” He waves his hand in the air as if shooing it all away. Then he’s laughing. And so are you as you double over a bit. You both see glimpses of yourselves before the war, a brief moment of being carefree. In your laughing you give a few ‘ow-ow-ow’s and rub at your sides. “You alright?” His voice still chipper, a grin tugging at his lips.

  
“Yeah, just a bit tender still.” You sigh and stab some more greens onto your fork. “Thanks Bodhi. Really.” You two both smile, a fall into a comfortable silence, and eat your meals.  


	3. Chapter 3

Days move into weeks, as the base becomes a buzz of activity. You hardly have time to talk to anyone, you are either packing things, running defense or using what mechanic skills you have to fix up battle worn ships. But the air between you and Cassian has cleared and you begin to work closely with him on a set of plans he wants to execute that involve checking out some planets from the data you an Bodhi had gotten.

 

 _Bodhi_ … You see him in passing at meals, but there hasn’t been time for idle chatter. He’s been busy too, loading ships to move cargo to the armadas and sometimes you are fixing ships in the same hangar at the same time, but it didn’t leave much time to chat.

 

“...Y/N…” Cassian’s voice draws you from your thoughts and you nod and look back at the map.

 

“Yes, right. Okay, so you have a team heading to Hoth, and Atollon which was use previously…” You pause just a moment, to see the look Cassian is giving you. He and you have had words about Atollon and before he could respond you jump in with the rest of the list. “Anoth, Risi, Da Soocha V and Subterrel.” You pull up the listings on the map, the planets are scattered across the galaxy.

 

“Right.” Cassian said rubbing at his bearded jaw. He liked hearing someone else recant the plan, sometime hearing it in a different voice brought up the flaws.

 

“You have a team of two for each planet in unmarked ships. Small groups go unnoticed.” You bring up the teams and what ships they’d be taking, in some cases they’d bring a droid along depending on the ship and group set up. One group involved Cassian, Jyn and K2. You were going in another group with someone you hadn’t worked with before. A Sullust from the B-Wings. You kept your face impassive, but Cassian picked up on some uneasy body language.

 

“You don’t like the groups.” He noted and you push yourself away from the map.

 

“I don’t like the groups. Mostly mine. Recon missions require a… need to know your partner-”

 

“You don’t take time to know others.” He said cutting you off with a raised eyebrow.

 

“And you’re so friendly?” You counter, placing your hands on your hips. “You usually work alone, but since you worked on Scarif you’ve kept a few others near by but you don’t get the chance to know us.” You can see it in his move he’s wants to snap at you but he raises his hands.

 

“Who do you know well enough to run a mission?” He asks instead, trying to trap you in your own words. You open your mouth and then close it for a moment.

 

“I know Rook-”

 

“You almost failed your mission with him-”

 

“Cassian.”

 

“No, who else.” He says sharply and you sigh and press your palms to your eyes.

 

“Wedge-”

 

“He’s on a team with Tycho.”

 

“Hobb-”

 

“You’re just listing other imperial defectors, you know this, right?” He said cutting you off. You give a thoughtful look and shrugged. You had spent time with these people, upon arrival you already had a strange bond. They already knew specific flight patterns and maneuvers because they were engraved into your minds at the academy. You flex your fingers a moment and lift your chin.

 

“I’d trust them.”

 

“But you wouldn’t-”

 

“Captain Andor, please.” You finally grit you. “I’ll do as you command but if you’re asking what I want, it would be to fly with someone I don’t have to worry about. We know each other's moves in space and how to work if discovered. You asked, I gave. I’m sure Mal is a fantastic partner but for such a sensitive mission I think I’ll stand my ground.” You only realize how loud your voice had gotten as the reverb follows the silence. Cassian looks at you, for what feels like hours but is only seconds before turning to the data pad and typing at it. Your group flickers and Mal is replaced with Bodhi’s face.

 

“I don’t believe he’s fully ready for another mission.” He said softly. “I almost wish he had left with Baze and Chirrut…I wish Jyn had gone too but I can’t shake her.” You take a few steps forward and look over the assignments and look back to Cassian. “He’s a good man, a good pilot but-”

 

“I know, believe me. I’ve already trusted him with my life on numerous occasions, willingly and unwillingly.” You said softly as give him a little nudge. Cassian’s hard exterior crumbles just slightly and he shakes his head. “I’ve put my life in your hands too. Normally I don’t question your orders but… thank you for letting me.” That draws a small smile from the man.

 

“I’ll send this plan to the council and we’ll heard word back soon.” He said looking over the floating data, you gaze joins him. You're assigned venture was Da Soocha V, a moon in Hutt space. A few overgrown space slugs didn’t scare you, but they’re lackies could cause trouble. It’s a good hiding spot if it pans out. “That’s a long enough break, Y/N. Get back to work.” His voice is almost playful and you resist rolling your eyes before walking out of the map room. Thankfully your day is lighter than normal due to the meeting and review with Cassian. You have general maintenance to run on some droids. It’s not your specialty, but you’ve adapted your meager skills over time. It could wait though. You wanted time to eat and clear your head moment.

 

You jog to the mess and grab a sandwich and drink to go. Rin looks disapproving, you could almost see the tips of the lekku twitch as you scramble back out and toward a set of ascending stairs. The base is in an old Massassi temple, the rebellion uses mostly the bottom layers of the ziggurat since it gets a bit cramped at the top.There are stairs up to the top of the temple and you’ve used them from time to time, it’s one of your favorite places to ‘step away’ from the rebellion and have some time to yourself. As you exit onto the stone platform you take a moment the breathe in air that clearer and look over the tops of the trees. You could almost see the next temple, but it’s far.

 

Your feet take you  around the edge of the small platform and you pause. A figure is laying out on the ground, for a heartbeat you think the person is dead but as you come closer you realize two things: 1) The person is sleeping and 2) That person is Bodhi Rook. His hair his grown fast, not as long as it had been, but it’s getting there, his patchy beard had grown back just fine, his face had grease smears and dirt, so did his coveralls and hands he’d just come up here from working down in the hangar.

 

Slowly, you settle down to sit next to him, trying not to disturb him. You set your food and drink aside and lean back to lay down. You’d give him a few moments before trying to wake him. You almost don’t want to but you don’t know how long he’s been out there. Bodhi has been a good friend since he arrived to the base and you’ve developed a soft spot for the pilot, he always look tired, but always happy to see you, even if it’s in passing.

 

You turn onto your side, propping yourself up on your elbow. You don’t normally get to see him, or anyone, in such a calm state. It’s a pleasant feeling, knowing someone can be even in these times. You take the moment to inspect him further. He still has light bruising under his eyes, he doesn’t sleep well. You don’t blame him not many of the soldiers do, this moment must be rare. A small thought slithers into your mind and slowly, you brush some hair from his face, his brow furrows. _Light Sleeper…_ You let your hand hover waiting for it to pass but it doesn’t, his face begins to contort, a pained sound wheezes out of him. _No, nightmare…_  you realize as his hands bunch into the fabric of his coveralls. Everyone gets them, you don’t come out of this line of work without some PTSD. Nightmares. Ghosts. You wonder what to do. Some people let the nightmares ride out, others prefer being woken but it’s a jolt to the system, that’s for sure. As you worry over this his nightmare seems to take better control of him. You’re not going to sit here and let him suffer through it.

 

“Bodhi.” Your words are steady and gentle. Your free hand finds his cheek, almost a caress before giving it a few light slaps. “Bodhi, wake up.” He presses into your hand for a moment, you heart clenches before he turns his head away. You move to kneel near his shoulder, you were never taught these things, but sometimes instinct works. One hand encircled his wrist the other presses against his neck and you say a bit loud. “Bodhi!” He seizes, eyes flying open as he gasps for air, looking around in a unfocused panic.

 

“Hey, hey..” You say as you shift the hand on his neck and cup his jaw, thumb stroking over his cheek. _Just like mother use to do_. That’s when something clicks, a far off memory. “It’s okay, I’m here. You’re here. We’re safe with each other.” You voice has a soft rhythm, the words use to be sung softly, but you speak them instead. He begins to even out as your mother’s words come from your lips. “And we leave those dreams behind. Focus on where we are-”

 

“Y/N?” His voice is thick and confused as his eyes rest on you and he seems to focus on your words.

 

“And know that we’re twin stars.” _Nearby is always where I’ll be. So sleep my sunbeam, warmth of my heart. Know we will never be apart._ Bodhi stares at you a moment, and you realize you’re still holding onto him, you release his wrist and pull your hand from his cheek. Embarrassment begins to seep into you and you pull away. He doesn’t stop you, he’s still processing what’s happened. You don’t say anything as you turn and scoot to the edge of the landing, letting your legs hang off the side. You hear him move behind you. What an awkward pair you two could be. _Sith-spit what have I done…_ You take in a deep breath and look behind you. Bodhi is still staring, you look back over the jungle.

 

“This is one of my favorite spots.” You say rubbing your palms over your pants.

 

“Y/N….” You hear him shuffling closer, he’s more aware, less shock more lightly shook. You don’t look back now and just nod your head lightly.

 

“It’s got a great view, hardly anyone comes here. I can see why you chose to rest here.” Soon he’s sitting just behind you then, as if rethinking it more shifting puts him beside you. You look at him, first at the collar of his jumpsuit, then slowly up to his eyes. He looks tired, so tired. He leans forward and presses his forehead to yours and you still for a moment. His eyes are closed and his hand moves to rest on the side of your head, fingers in your hair for just a moment.

 

“Thank you.” He said and you close your eyes too for a moment. Touch, such a gentle touch. You selfishly think about how long it’s been. Not just a hug from a pilot in victory, or a clap on the back, a messing of hair. Something more gentle, soft, almost intimate. You feel heat rising in you and your eyes flutter back open.

 

“We all get them. Just happy I could help.” You said softly, you throat feels almost like a desert. He lifts his head and smiles. You lick your lips a moment before nodding to a thought on your head. “I have some news for you, so I’m glad I found you, seems to be fate.” You are working to bring the feeling back to something you’re use to, this closeness was not one of them. Not that you minded….

 

“Now?” He asks, looking crestfallen. You laugh and shake your head.

 

“No, we get away from work up here.” Leaning back you grab the wrapped sandwich and, pulling a knife from your boot, cut it in half. “Let’s eat instead.” You hold out half and he smiles, grateful, his hands are still shaking some as he takes it, you take note of it and file it for later.

 

“You snuck food?” He asked dubiously, he seemed glad for some more familiar banter.

 

“More like mad a run for it. I was faster than Rin today so.” You smirk and let your leg knock playfully against his. He’s uncoiling, relaxing as he laughs and shakes his head.

 

“She’ll skimp you at dinner.” He warns and you just shake your head.

 

“ I’ll just steal some food from your plate if she does. Ah, well, it’s worth it for the view.” You said taking a bite and watching a flock of birds fly over the canopy. His eyes linger on you a moment before looking out over the scene as well.

 

“It’s is.” He agreed and took a bite of his sandwich. A silences fills the space between you. A verbal silence. But the sounds of life below was a type of comfortable background noise, part people-made, part nature. You both finish you food in this comfortable silence and then Bodhi clears his throat. “What… was it you wanted to talk about?” He asked giving you a curious look. You let your gaze drift away from the trees and back to him. Bodhi still looked so tired, you wanted to hold if off for a bit more. Maybe Cassian was right. Maybe he wasn’t ready? But who wasn’t tired at the base.

 

“We get to go on a duo mission, once it gets cleared.” You said with a smile. His eyes widened some.

 

“Are you sure you want me to-”

 

“I actually specially requested you through Cassian.” You keep your voice bright and light, not letting on the small fight that you had to get that approved. He didn’t seem to believe your words quite all the way.

 

“He’s okay with me going? I thought he wanted me to help get the rest of the base moved. In fact… he just talked to me about it yesterday.” Rook said rubbing at his neck. You seem to start second guessing yourself.

 

“Do you… not want to? I can-” He grabs your arm to stop you.

 

“No! I mean, I do. I just didn’t think.” He laughed a moment. “What would we be doing?”

 

“Unmarked ship, recon to potential base planets from the information we got.” You said with a smile. “Figured we should see it all the way through.” The expression that crossed Bodhi’s features seemed to be a mix of surprise, happiness and then a strange somberness. It tugs at your heart some and clear your throat gently use your knuckles to gently push at his shoulders. “On a different note, your hair is growing out nice.” Was that a blush you see creeping into his cheeks? “Are you going to grow it all the way back out?”

 

You watch his fingers push back through his hair, long enough to comb through, almost enough to tie back.

 

“Maybe. I like how it covers…” His fingers brush over the back of his head and along his neck. _Better, but still haunts him…._ “Anyway, it’s bothersome now, always in my face while working.” He said with a slight scoff.

 

“I could lend you some hair clips.” You said, teasingly as you lean back on your elbows. He doesn’t turn it down and gives you a curious look. “Okay, really?” You ask tilting your head to the side.

 

“Better than having to push it out of my face.” He countered shifting to look down at you. You chew on your lip, grinning before nodding.

 

“Fine, fine. Let’s go get them now, I have droid maintenance soon.” You move to stand, but he’s faster, already up on his feet, hand being offered down to you. You reach out, gripping his forearm and he helps haul you up. Overall this moment on the roof of the temple has been a bright spot in a long month.

 

You small talk lowly together as you walk back down the temple’s floors. A lighthearted moment easing the tension that has built up around the base. It doesn’t take long to get to your room. It’s smaller than others, but you also get to have it alone. You thumb in your code and the door slides open.

 

“Take a seat, let me find them.” You tell Bodhi as you wave him inside, he follows and sits on the real only suitable surface, the edge of the bed. You sift through some containers and are able to dig up clips after a moment.

 

“Alright, here, I’ve got two you can have.” You said dropping them into his hand. Now, he seems hesitant. The clips are neutral in tone, regulation from when they were in service to the empire, though no one would know it but you. He gathers some of his hair back and unclips the first clip, you watch with amusement. The end result is a mess and you cover your mouth to stifle your laugh.

 

“What…” He asks and you just wave your hands some.

 

“Here, here, hold on.” You say walking over to him, you stand with just in front of him and move out to touch his hair, he shrinks back just a bit. “I’m just going to fix it… it’s alright.” You said and you make quick work of it. You fingers unclasp the clip and you stick the end of it between your teeth, you section out an area of hair that would normally be considered bangs if they were cut, and gently finger comb them, you lightly twist the end of it and press it to his crown. With your free hand you take the clip from your lips and click it back into to place. It blends with his hair nicely.

 

“There.” You said with a smile. “And if you leave your goggles up….” You lift the goggles from around his neck and pull it up and over settling them on the top of his head. “No one would know, at least, until you needed them.”

 

Bodhi kept his head bowed slightly, fingers tight in the fabric of his pants. He looks more tense than when you started. Did you overstep? You take a step back and lean against the wall opposite him, he doesn’t move for a bit then slowly relaxes.

 

“Bodhi?”

  
Bodhi stands and looks to you, he looks lost, he looks flustered. He doesn’t say anything before leaving in a few quick strides. You don’t follow. You obviously went over the line, or at least you felt that you had now. You’d let things settle before finding him again, if you were going to do another mission with him, you’d have to make sure the air was clear of whatever just happened. For now, you picked up your own goggles, ones with magnifiers in them to look at detailed mechanics, and walked out of the room a few minutes later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the others. It just seems to have a better chapter end where it is then if I tried to continue. I hope to have another chapter done next week!

In the next few days instead of Bodhi, you see a shift of the whole bases tone. You see Leia Organa whispering with Mon Mothma in a dark corner of the hallway. You see Skywalker and Antilles looking over navi files in the map room. You see Cassian in fast whispers into his comm while striding off into an office. Things are tense. It’s a different type of tension than a battle, it’s like knowing the right move in sabbac to not get cornered in. The only bit of news you get is right before bed. Your data pad blinks, a message has been received. With a soft hum, you slide off your gloves, tossing them onto the end table and pick up the data pad. The light glows faintly from the screen, but it’s Cassian letting you know the mission has been approved, and then the details once again. Your name is still next to Bodhi’s, still to the same planet. The message was copied to all the others too. You pause, the thought made you  think for a beat and walk towards the door. You were to leave tomorrow afternoon, you had to talk to Bodhi, settle whatever happened before and make new plans. You slipped the datapad into your pocket as you left the room. You’ve been to Bodhi’s room once before, you both had walked there while talking once, and you were pretty sure you remembered where it was. Two halls over, third door back.

 

You trotted through the quiet halls and slowed as you came up to his door. A sudden doubt creeped into your brain as you stood there, wavering. If Bodhi wanted to talk about it, wouldn’t he have come to you? You shook your head, games, mind games. It’s all in your head, you think and knock on his door.

 

Nothing.

 

“Bodhi?” You call in what you hope is loud enough to be heard through the door. You wait and when nothing happens again you start to back away. Maybe he wasn’t there, you had just only assumed, but then there’s a clattering behind the door, it almost makes you jump. Suddenly it slides open and the disheveled pilot stares at you. He looks like he just woke up, his hair is, to your amusement, clipped back, but messy, his clothes rumpled, and eyes still bagged but better.

 

“Y/N!” He laughs a moment and the presses his forehead against the door frame. “I thought it was…” His body sagged in relief. “Cassian or something.” He looks at you, but you don’t say anything, but a smile tugs at the edge of your lips. “Something wrong…?” He straightens some and you just put your hand on his chest and push him gently back inside his room, which he does, tripping just slightly.

 

“We got our orders, but I’m guessing you didn’t see it yet.” He blinks and looks a bit like an owl.

 

“What?” Then he begins to look around. His room is tidy, remnants of imperial order, but even you know you can lose things in put together places. He checks the desk and then his pockets, then with a sigh he pulls apart his bed, there, under the sheets is his datapad. He must have fallen asleep with it. You watch this all with a look of amusement, and you chew on your bottom lip some to keep from laughing as he brings up the message. He’s already scanning through it as he walks over to you. “Right…” He close enough that you can still smell the scent of oil and grease, with a bit of soap. He tried to clean up some before passing out on his bed.

 

“Yeah, we just got it, I figured we could make some plans.” You say, trying to spur on the conversation. If Bodhi was still bothered by the last time you saw each other, he wasn’t showing it. Bodhi glances to you and points at a spot on the pad.

 

“Tomorrow? He wants us ready by tomorrow?” He seemed shocked and he shook his head a moment. “We can’t be ready-”

 

“We have to be. That’s why I came over.” You smirk and move to sit on the edge of the other bunk. “I’m assuming we’d take a small ship, whatevers left in the hanger. But we need to pack somethings, decide our rations, I think we should make a few jumps, look like we’re actual running cargo.” He makes a sound you can only think of as uncertainty. “You have a better idea?”

 

“Why would we be bringing cargo to Da Soocha Five… There’s nothing there.” He flicks through some information and frowns.

 

“It’s in Hutt space.” You point out with a nod. “We pose as smugglers with our cargo. We look like we’re using the planet to do a trade. Nothing lives there but some flying things and the things that eat the flying things.” You watch him a moment, he’s still uncomfortable with the idea, you see it in his posture and the way he gnaws a bit on the side of his thumb. His brow furrows, working through possibilities.

 

“Hutts…” He finally settles on saying.

 

“We’ll be fine Bodhi. At the first sign of trouble we run. It’s a recon, nothing actually dangerous, just if danger comes, I know I can trust you.” You say leaning forward some. He seems to pause at the and looks at you.

 

“You trust me…” He seemed a bit startled, like this was new information.

 

“Yes.” You sound confused though. “I thought you knew that…” His fingers trail up to his neck as you talk. “I wouldn’t have requested you to have my back if I didn’t.” Instead of opening up he seemed to be closing, he shifts his back to you and walks over to the desk, setting his datapad down. Then that same silence fills the room, just like last time. The pause where one figured out if it’s fight or flight, stay or go. But it his room, where would he go? You stand up and take one step forward. “Listen… if I’ve crossed a line-” Bodhi whipped around to turn at you so fast it startles you into stepping backward.

 

“NO!” He almost shouted. “No, It’s not-.” He looks flushed, embarrassed and he turn away, taking the clip from his hair. “I just--” He sounded exasperated and unsure. “I don’t know. I mean, I do know, I know now. You trust me. I trust you!” He turns back to face you, trying to comb his fingers back through his messed hair. He takes a moment and tried to gather his thoughts, you try to speak but he cuts through.

 

“Y/N, I trust you…. I think I’d trust you even with my scars.” He sounds almost pained saying it. “I realized it, that day… and it scared me some…I didn’t know what to do.” He walks over to you and takes your shoulders, giving them a squeeze. You look at him, standing still under his hands and watch him for a moment. There’s more he wants to say, he wants to babble on but nothing comes, instead, his head drops and presses against yours. His eyes are closed and there’s a comforting weight to the touch. You give him his moment, and find your hands moving to lightly touch his chest. He sucks in a soft gasp, his chest pulling away slightly before settling back against your fingers. No words you knew would fill the space in the right way, but you try anyway.

 

“Okay.” It’s a simple affirmation, soft and nudging.

 

“Okay?” His voice echoes yours, unsure of that being an answer.

 

“Okay. We’re okay.” You breathe and neither moves for what feels like minutes, no one wants to be the first to pull away. But slowly you do. Fingers linger as you take a step back, both of you pink in the cheeks and a little starry-eyed. “Maybe… we can talk about this more… On the ship tomorrow?” You prompt, it’ll give you time to process what exactly he said. _I’d trust you with my scars…_ It rolled around in your mind for a moment. What did it mean besides the obvious? Which was powerful enough.

 

“Oh! Oh… yeah.” He already had forgotten why you came, it seemed and moves back to his datapad and drops onto the bed. Frazzled, flustered. You moved and sit by him and in silence you both reread the information. _I’d trust you with my scars…_ It’s all your mind can think about, it was an oddly intimate statement. It’s like trusting someone with your fears and darkness. You have to wonder how many of the scars aren’t topical. You mentally shake the thoughts away, _not right now_. You open a new screen on your data pad to send out a request for supplies.

“So…”

 

“You said smugglers right?” Bodhi jumps in, as you both try to fill the silence. “I don’t have many clothes for that…”

 

“I’m sure we can steal some from Cassian, his wardrobe is roguish enough.” You said with a snort, that gets a chuckle out of Bodhi too. “We can worry about that later. Lets ask for four blasters-”

 

“Four?”

 

“Yeah, in case of malfunction or if we lose one.” You said with a smile. “And then we just need some rations, forged manifests,  a few working codes…”

 

“You sure we’d get something that can haul cargo?” The chatter is easy, you know what he wants to know, and he knows that you’ll have the answers.

 

“I’ve been working on a Helix-Class Light Interceptor down in the hangar.” You said a bit more smugly than you’d like. “I know it’s still there too.” Bodhi looks to you and raises an eyebrow.

 

“That’s an armed freighter, small crew, but small cargo space, are you sure?”

 

“It’s fast, it has guns, it’ll carry cargo, I don’t see why two smugglers new to the game wouldn’t use it. Plus it’ll protect our hides against pirates should we meet any…”

 

“Pirates…” Bodhi sighs and crumples a bit. “Are you sure-” He’s going back to doubting himself, but you try to talk over his outloud thoughts.

 

“I’ll put the order through. But let’s work on what we’ll need-”

 

“Y/N.” His voice was sterner and pleading. You look over so he knows he has your attention.

  
“I’m sure, Bodhi. I wouldn’t want any other person flying with me…” He seems to take that in again and nods. Once he’s accepted that thought the planning becomes easier. The night devolves into talking about personas, what your flight path would be, where you would stay longer than just a refuel and more. You never make it back to your room that night, you find yourself slouched over on his bed, asleep, with him curled around you. You wake up hardly, just to adjust to lay on your back, it’s nice and warm sleeping next to someone. It’s not happened since that fling in the academy. Bodhi’s body follows the flow of movement like liquid, he’s now half laying on you, one of your arms trapped beneath him, his nose in your hair, long limbs mingling with yours. He makes a sound, as if waking and you pull the thin blanket over you both and wrap an arm around him, hand resting against his back. He settles with a sigh and you both drift back off to sleep. No nightmares from either of you that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Things are getting crazy here between grad school, work and progressing on cosplays for Star Wars Celebration! I struggled a but on how to end this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it! As always, feedback is loved.

****

The humid marketplace was bustling that afternoon. People called out to the street, trying to entice both the locals and visitors to come see their wares. Booths full spicy smelling food, fluttering clothing, parts and scrap metal, art and some illegal things on the side. Everyone seemed to have something on the side the closer one got to Hutt space..

 

You had landed your ship, The Stinger (Your idea), just hours before. It was becoming routine. Land, Pay docking fee, find some food, keep ears to the ground, refuel, ask around about jobs and then head out. But here, on this planet you can’t even pronounce the name of, you’ll be staying at least the night. Bodhi has flourished under his guise of smuggler and pilot. He took the name Karric Scanat, wore some of Cassian’s clothing and ran with it. It was like he could hide behind it, and you found that he could be amiable, funny, and easy going. He had been before, but it seemed different

 

“Vi.” His voice called from behind and you stop, getting bumped into by a few beings in the process. Viera Kymeri, that’s the name you went with. Co-pilot and smuggler. Home planet, Corellia, allegiances none. Viera and Karric had started their business of illegal trade in the recent year and are building up their reputation. You’ve been able to start some word of mouth through rebel spies located around the smuggling rings, so the names might just come to mind should you ask about a job.

 

You push your way back through the crowd some, to see what Bodhi wants. He’s smirking to himself and as he stands in front of a food booth. He’s absolutely beaming, and it’s cute. You look over what seemed to be filled breads and skewered meats. The smell makes your stomach seize to show how hungry you are.

 

“Karric, what’s this?” You ask curiously, trying to keep from drooling, just a bit.

 

“She is from Jedha.” He gestures to the woman behind the stand, tan olive skin like his, beautiful soft eyes, and darker hair pulled back in a braid down her back, she nods along with his words. You shift your weight from foot to foot, he’s keeping his character but you’re worried some. “And she bakes, look. We should get some.” His voice is light, but the unsaid words are clear. These are just like his mother use to make; he’d like to take some to share a memory. You make a show of sighing.

 

“Karric we can’t just stop at every stall.” Act. Its part of the act, but his features fall just a bit. _We don’t have the money._

 

“But I’m hungry…” _Please_ , His words seem to say. You look to the lady, and her food smells amazing. She must not be from the holy city, or left before the attack. Bodhi would know, though, the authenticity of it. Your shoulders droop as you relent.

 

“Alright, but don’t spend all of our credits. We need to refuel and find a place to stay too.” He grins, cheeks pink, sheepish but handsome. You blink. Did you just think handsome? You shake your head a moment. “Get me some bread. I’m heading up the way, I see the bar.” You give your head a little dip of thanks to the woman who just keeps bobbing her head along. Bodhi talks softly with her as you walk away. You know he’ll give her more credits than she’ll ask for. Bleeding heart and all you probably would have to, even with how tight the funds are right now. You shake your head a moment and push forward.

 

You pass by all sorts of species as you try to make a casual bee-line toward the door. Humans, Rodians, Twi’leks and more, it’s enough to make your head spin trying to remember the names of all the races. Finally, though, you make it out of the crowd and into the bar. It’s so dark that it takes a few moments of awkward blinking and stunted steps for your eyes to adjust from the brightness outside. It’s busy, but thankfully not as crowded as the rest of the marketplace. You moved down the steps, past a bounty board, and a table of grunting tusked hairless beings, you try not to let your gaze linger there too long. Everything here should not feel out of place to Viera. You find two empty barstools and sit in one and tip the other forward, saving it for Bodhi. The bartender, a grizzly looking man, human, you think, wanders to your spot. He gives you a once over and you fight the urge to pull your jacket closed more.

 

“What can I get ya’?” He asked grinning with a half mouth of teeth.

 

“Rum. Cheapest you got.” You sigh, doing your best to look like overworked and tired. Hoping that he’d just get your drink and leave you be. Your goal is to listen and wait for Bodhi. The art of listening is one she picked up with the Rebellion. Every side has its secret, every side needs spies and eavesdroppers and well, you learned to do it for fun. Nothing of value around the base but it’s helped with missions before.

 

“Sure thing.” He said and turned to make the drink. Beside you was male Falleen, a reptilian type of being, green with what little black hair he had in a topknot on his head. You haven’t seen too many of them before, but you know the rebellion has some as spies. You watch him for a moment; he’s talking to a blue skinned female. It’s not one you know, and you frown for a moment and glance away as the bartender bring you the glass of rum.

 

“Start a tab, would ya’?” You doubt you’ll have more than one drink, but it lets anyone listening in the idea that you may just be sitting here a while. You give him a small smile; the bartender eats it up and grins back before walking off. You pick up your glass and take a sip from it, you look down the other side of the bar, seems most people are here alone. But idle chatter still fills the bar; you pick up some words, listening for information about Imperial movement. Nothing turns up, not yet at least. You hear shuffling behind you, and the smell of food. Bodhi’s caught up. He pulls out the stool you had pulled forward and places a brown bag in his lap.

 

“I thought you said we needed to find a place for tonight.” He gives you a pointed look and in return you offer up a smirk.

 

“I’m working on it.” You said and sip your rum.

 

“You’re drinking.”

 

“I’m listening.” You about hiss. “You should do it too, Karric.” You sigh and spin the glass lightly on the counter, your stomach gurgles loud enough to be heard. “But I guess I can’t focus without eating something.” You reach out for the bag in his lap and he takes your wrist.

 

“Save them.” He chides and you watch your fingers flex in his grip.

 

“But!” Bodhi gives you a little look. No, not Bodhi, Karric. Bodhi would have flushed and stammered some. The bartender is back in front of you giving Bodhi an unfavorable look.

 

“Givin’ you trouble, _Cheeka_.” He asks, using the term for ‘girl’ in Huttese. Your Huttese isn’t fantastic, understanding more than you can speak. You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the boorish man. Even the Falleen looks over his shoulder to see what’s going on. Too much attention.

 

“Just my co-pilot.” You say waving him off, breaking the hold in the process. Bodhi snorts. “What?” You deadpan his way.

 

“Excuse me, you’re _my_ co-pilot not the other way around.” Bodhi shoots. You’ve played this scene out already before on another planet. You down the rum and move to stand, tossing some credits on the bar.

 

“Whatever, Karric. We both fly the ship! Who cares? You got your treats, I want to sleep...”  The bartender makes a sound in the back of his throat before trying to cut into the conversation.

 

“Bastia’s...” He says. Bodhi and you turn your heads to look at him. “Her place is just down the way. You can have your rest… and you...” He points to Bodhi. “Could find some bed company.” Bodhi almost stumbles. You can’t help but laugh.

 

“I’ll make sure he gets a good one.” You say and turn, bumping into the Falleen. “Sorry.” You murmur and keep walking. Bodhi trots to catch up, once he got a hold of himself. He’s following close; you could feel him at your back, breath on your ear.

 

“What was that-”

 

“Information gathering.”

 

“We were hardly there! What could you have gather…”

 

“A few credits.” You show him a what credits you stole off the guy you bumped into, before stuffing it away “a place to stay,  and an admirer.” You stop and he bumps into you. You smile and turn to face him. “Karric.” The name is an anchor to remind you both who you are. “I’m tired. I promise not to feed you to the bed company.” You voice is teasing, and his dark eye narrow a moment.

 

“Vi…”

 

“We don’t have enough for two rooms anyway, what I got is for later… Don’t worry.” You say a bit softer. That made him flush some, and then grin. Because that’s who he was suppose to be. Cocky and self sure. A little Solo and a little Cassian. They find the place the bartender talked about, Bastia’s, and book a room for the night. Bodhi mumbles about the price under his breath as you walk down the hall, and you’re trying not to look too eager to get into the room.

 

Finally, once the door is closed and locked, you both shed the guises you’d been wearing. You take a moment to look around the room. One small bed and a table. The barest minimum for the barest things you’d need to do in a bedroom. There is a slight dank smell; it comes with the humidity of the planet you’re on. Neither of you make a comment about the one bed. Yet.

 

“You scared me for a minute, Bodhi.” You said as you pull off your jacket and fold it over a chair.

 

“Huh?” He gave you a confused look as he held the bag of food between his teeth and pulled off his gloves.

 

“Jedah…” You start but he shakes his head, tossing the gloves on the table and setting the food down more lightly.

 

“No, no. I mean. I was excited, nervous.” He fidgets and smiles. You didn't have to ask why. His mother had made the same sort of foods, the memory probably hit him like a speeder and he ran with it. “Hungry.” He added. You both were. You had misjudged how far your rations would get you both and the budget was slim. It had been almost a day of no food and it’s a wonder you hadn’t torn into the bag yet.

 

“Yeah, me too.” You sigh kicking off your boots, then with a small twitch you go back and set them upright and against the wall. Old habits. You can hear Bodhi open the bag which fills the small room with the smell of meat and spices, a much better alternative to the natural state of the room.  It draws you back to him and he’s already holding out one of the items you had asked for, bread, filled with meats. You grin, taking it and settle on the edge of the bed.

 

The first bite is already lightyears better than the ration bars you’ve been nibbling. You sigh and enjoy the moment. You stop as you feel eyes upon you and open your eyes to find Bodhi staring with a smile. You swallow your bite and lick your lips.

 

“Wha-”

 

“You’ve got…” He gestures to a spot on his own face and you frown.You use the back of your wrist to wipe at your cheek. “No… further… other…” Bodhi laughs and shakes his head. “Forget it.” He’s already reaching out, and swiping up what seems to be a bit of meat and juice from your cheek. He licks it off his thumb. It’s your turn to look flustered.  You face turns beet red and you stammer out a retort to cover it.

 

“What if I was saving it for later!” He laughs and plops down next to you. He has some other pastry that he breaks a piece off of with his fingers.

 

“Were you?” He asks quirking a brow. To avoid saying anything worse you just stuff the bun in your mouth and avert your gaze. “That’s what I thought.” He pops the piece he broke off into his mouth.

 

Moments pass in silences as you both eat. It’s the better meal you’ve had in days. As you finish yours you pull out a data pad and begin to scroll through it. There’s been some report backs already from excursions, some possibilities, but there always seemed to be a drawback. Bodhi shifts and leans over, looking over your shoulder at the data with you.

 

“Seems like almost everyone is done. Just Hoth and us.” He murmurs, reaching over you to scroll past something and you gently slap his hand away.

 

“Read your own data pad.” You chide and turn your head to pin him with a look. You stop though; his head is very close to yours. You settle for giving him a nudge, which Bodhi took with a soft huff and leaned back just a bit. “But yeah, the sooner we get to our destination the sooner it’s all done.” You sigh and move to stand writing a small update as you go and storing it to send later. “Let’s get a bit of rest, and then we can head out, look for jobs then blast off this rock. We’re so close to finishing this mission.”

 

“You know, we only have one bed.” He said, looking back and making note.

 

“It was the cheapest room. I didn’t think you’d mind.” You put the data pad on the table. The night before the mission was the only time you’ve shared a bed before this. “Or at least, Karric wouldn’t mind.” Your voice is teasing as you stretch. It’s still daytime on this planet, but you’re body is saying it about time to sleep. Even if it’s a nap. Bodhi stands up and laughs, you can hear him coming up behind you.

 

“Karric wouldn’t mind a lot of things.” He said, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you to face him. You laugh in surprise, and you find that Bodhi is also surprised. “Ah…” His grip on you tightens for just a moment, and you let your hands settle on his arms. The moment you touch him, he releases you and pulls away, face turning a reddish tint. “I… can sleep on the floor… or the chair.”

 

“Bodhi…” You try to stop his ramble before it starts.

 

“Or out in the hall...” His head ducks down, and his fingers rub at the back of his neck, before he can say more you placed your hands to his cheeks.

 

“Bodhi Rook. I am not letting you sleep in the hall, on the floor or in a chair. I mean, I don’t think we even have a chair.” You laugh, and it draws his gaze up just slightly. “You said you trust me, right?” He nods and you can’t help but laugh a little. “You trust Vi?” Bodhi snorts eyes rolling.

 

“I trust you, Y/N. That’s not it. I just… not something I’m use to.” He admits with a half shrug his gaze flits around your features, not meeting your. His mouth opens again, idling for a moment in silence before closing again.

 

“Come on. I don’t mind it; you’re a good bed mate.” You smirk a bit and pull away from his personal space. You turn to the door and go to lock it. “You don’t snore or kick and you’re really warm” You can hear him moving behind you. He’s removing his jacket, holster and boots, laying them all in a pile near one side of the bed. You take off the last of your accessories as well leaving you in pants and a shirt much like him. He sits on the edge of the bed, like he’s still fighting with himself on if he’s okay with this. With his back to you, you find yourself staring. If he tried, he could probably make a small ponytail, you guess in another few weeks it’ll be long enough to cover his scars. He’s filled out a bit since Scarif, not bulky, or anything, but just less thin. It’s good. He looks good.

 

You press a knee into the bed, and it dips just a bit as you move to settle into it. You don’t bother with the covers. Bodhi still hasn’t moved, you wonder if you should do something, but outside of just dragging him down on the bed, what was there? Deciding to let him be, you curl on your side facing away from him and close your eyes.

 

“Sleep, Bodhi.” You murmur.

 

It’s much later, or it seems like it, when something on the bed moves, you shift in your sleep and turn onto your other side, fingers brush your hair a moment before falling away and you settle back into slumber.

 

In the morning you wake up alone. Bodhi’s things are gone too. A moment of panic settles into your chest and you haphazardly toss clothes on your body, a series of curses leaving your lips in the process. It’s not until you get the the table that you see a message on the data pad.

 

_Couldn’t sleep. Went out for breakfast and to check on the ship._

 

You sigh, letting out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding. You step back and sit on the bed, jacket half on, belt too loose, glove on the wrong hand. What were you thinking? You cover your mouth a moment. The thoughts run wild in your head. _What... did I think he’d desert me? Desert the Rebellion like he had the Empire? Did the lady from Jedha spark him into doing something stupid? Maybe I don’t trust him like I thought…_ A voice of reason started to push the thoughts aside. _No, I’m worried. Worried about him. I care about the damn nerf herder…._ You sigh and flop back to stare at the ceiling.

 

“Of course…” Slowly you adjust yourself. Gloves on the correct hands, Jacket fully on, belt tightened and everything zipped. You’re pulling your hair up when Bodhi finally comes back through the door. He’s quiet, accessing the mood of the room. Your hands move from your hair letting it fall back into place and you turn. “Is that fresh hot Caf?” All worries melt away as you grin and walk over to him, taking one from him.

 

“Yeah I figured you’d want some before we go. I found a place…” He drifted off a moment.

 

“The lady from Jedha…” You fill in slowly, and then sip from your cup. It had the be the best cup of coffee you’ve had in a long time. He looks away a moment then up at the ceiling.

 

“Yes, well… she was breaking down her stall when I went out…” He moves past you to place the other drink and a small bag of food on the table. “We talked for a bit.”

 

“Bodhi…” You almost sound exasperated. Weren’t you just worrying over him two seconds ago? But he pushed through over whatever you were going to say.

 

“Told her that we were heading out soon and she sent these along. I mean its night now, but…” He shrugged and rubbed at his neck. “She made some caf and food for the road.” Finally he let his gaze slide back to you and you sigh, you do that a lot now it seems.

 

“Well, I’ll take first shift at the wheel; I want you to rest more.” You say and reach out to lightly grip his arm. “I’m just about ready too. Did Karric find any jobs while he was patrolling for breakfast?”

 

“Yes, but I didn’t take it. It wasn’t heading in our direction and more cargo than the ship can handle.” Bodhi shrugs and rocks on his heels. “The other I wanted to talk to you about. It’s a small cargo, but it’s actually taking it on our route home.” He looks unsure for a moment.

 

“What is it?” It would be the first job you’ve taken under the personas if you agreed.

 

“It’s…. A…” He blusters a moment and scratches at his palm. “A child?” You almost drop your cup.

 

“What!” You practically yell it.

 

“Listen…” He’s trying to calm you.  “The offer was to take her off world and bring her safe and unharmed elsewhere. It was a dad; he’s alone, on the run…”

 

“Bodhi, we can’t just… I mean... we can…. But…”

 

“Would you trust anyone you saw here with a child?” He asked seriously.

 

“Jedha…” You said flatly. “I’d trust the woman from Jedha.”

 

“Well, she’s not going off world. She’s not a smuggler, just a market woman.” He places his hands on your shoulders. “We can leave take her back with us… maybe… stay with someone who already has a family. The father seemed to think whoever was after him would use her as leverage or worse should she get caught and-”

 

“Fine...” You cut him off. “Fine, Fine…. I’m not… against helping a child I’m just…” You slump some.

 

“Good, because I already said yes and she’s waiting outside the door.”

 

“You left her outside the door of this seedy place!” You did drop your caf then and moved to open the door quickly. Right outside was a child. Small, thin, and dirty. Her skin was blue, her dark hair pulled into a messy braid. She trembled slightly and you sigh dropping into a crouch in front of her. Red eyes stared at you. Chiss. She was a Chiss. She had to be very young, though she looked along the lines of 4. How scared she must be. You think back to the child on the mining planet and you swallow thickly.

 

“Hey, okay, so come here.” You said trying your best to use a kid friendly voice. The child pulls back some. You’re a stranger and she could probably hear you yell through the walls. Not exactly looking trustworthy. You sigh and hold out a hand, trying again. “Come on, want something to eat?”

 

“Zhara.” You hear Bodhi call from behind you. “I have the sweet bread.” His voice is light and gentle and warm. She scurries past you to him and clings to his leg as he hands her the treat. Closing the door you sigh.

  
You’d have to edit your report before you leave. A child wasn’t something you were thinking of picking up along the way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is getting crazy and Star Wars Celebration is just around the corner! I'll try to be better about quicker updates but I also don't want to rush. So I hope you enjoy this update! Thanks for reading!

_The Stinger_ hummed beneath your hands as you guide it to the mission point. Here you are again, alone in the cockpit admiring the view of space. The planet Da Soocha V hung in the viewport ahead, you let the system run a light scan of the planet and let your mind drift. The trip here has been more ‘fun’ than you’ve had in a while. Seeing new places and interacting with the locals had been one of the draws for leaving Jelucan. The planet had less and less children staying as they took opportunities to leave and find better work than farming. The few messages you received from your family before leaving the Empire showed that work was getting harder for the farming families. No one wanted to stay. It was a guilt that you felt about leaving, but your dream was to get them off world too. It wouldn’t happen. You’re not even sure if you can go back to help them if you tried. Memories and thoughts tumbled to the forefront of your mind. If you hadn’t left you wouldn’t be aiding the rebellion, you wouldn’t be fighting against an evil power bigger than yourself. You wouldn’t have met Bodhi… He’s been on your mind more often too, and you don’t want to admit it. Attachments are dangerous, but everyone on base makes them. It can lead to mistakes.

 

A hand falls heavy on your shoulder and it makes you jump in your seat. You turn your head quick seeing Bodhi looking concerned. You stare at him a moment, mind reeling to catch up.

 

“Are you okay? I called your name…” He said quietly, he was taking in your features, you could tell by the way his eyes skittered this way and that. It made you flush lightly and you turned away to gesture toward the viewport.

 

“Yeah just… got caught up… in…” You sigh and frown a moment. “The scan should be complete soon then we’ll do a surface run.”

 

“Want me to do that?” He asks sliding into the co-pilot’s seat. A laugh escapes you.

 

“I thought I was the co-pilot.” You say with a smile, Bodhi smirks a bit in reply. “I also thought you were playing daddy daycare back there.” His smile falters a moment.

 

“About that-”

 

“It’s fine.” You say again, probably for the 12th time since leaving the planet. “Plus she doesn’t seem to like me-” Bodhi wants to interject but you plow on. “And we need to find a safe place for her. The rebellion isn’t exactly an orphanage…” Your last words trail off, you don’t look at Bodhi, but there’s probably a chorus of emotions playing over his face. The cockpit falls silent, not a sound but the hum of machinery.

 

“You’re not happy…” Bodhi’s voice seems small. It’s not a tone you’ve heard him use around you. You glance over, he’s staring straight ahead, there’s something in his unfocused look. You let go of the controls, you’re in orbit now anyway.

 

“No… no, it’s not that.” You sigh and turn the seat to face him. “You did the right thing.”

 

“Did I?” He looks to you, he seems unsure, and it was you that placed that uncertainty there. Attachments, it makes your heart hurt a little.

 

“You did… I just… I’m worried she’ll fall into the wrong hands, she’s just a child! This is a war…. We don’t even know if her father… if he’ll try to come back for her.” Your voice is quiet. Though you’re sure Zhara is sleeping, you don’t want your voice to carry. You want these words to be between just you and Bodhi. His gaze meets yours and you hold it for a breath before glancing away. “This is more than just carrying fake cargo, or a planet jump drop off. This is a life we’ve taken responsibility for and…” You didn’t feel ready. That’s a dumb thought. You crewmates were always your responsibility. The life of the squadrons. The welfare of a people. But it’s different when it’s tiny… and helpless… someone who can’t defend themselves. She also reminds you of the reason you left the Empire. The reason you’re looked at as a deserter and traitor by anyone who has a list of people to track down. Something squeezes your hands, No, Bodhi is. When had he reached out?

 

He doesn’t say anything, you refuse to look at him. But his forehead is pressed against yours and he closes his eyes, yours follow, focusing on the touch before its take away.

 

“I’ll do the planet run. Go rest. You deserve it.” His voice is like a heavy warm blanket, comforting and sedating. You sag physically a moment and open your eyes, he’s take control of the ship, there’s the tiniest blush on his cheeks, it probably matches your own.

 

“Alright.” You concede and stand up, reached out to grip his shoulder lightly in thanks, his hand covers yours before you pull away. It draws you in, for a bit of a risk, and you press the lightest of kisses to his temple before walking away.

 

Twin Stars. Slowly drawing into each other. What happens when stars collide? It’s your last thoughts as you stretch out on a couch watching the girl curled up on the other side of the room. A distant memory begins to whisper: _So sleep my sunbeam, warmth of my heart. Know we will never be apart._

 

_\----------------------------------_

Da Soocha V is a rather rocky planet home to what use to be ancient volcanos. Why people ever did business here was beyond your reasoning. But when you woke from resting you noticed the ship had landed in a rather stable spot on a desolate world. Zhara was awake too. She was in the cockpit with Bodhi, staring out at the surface of the planet. Any fear she showed upon meeting was gone, she seemed chatty and curious with the pilot and Bodhi patiently answered all of her questions the best he could.

 

“Karric” You call to him, amused. Bodhi gave you a slight wince.

 

“His name is Mister Bodhi.” Her voice was bright clear and slightly scolding. The little girl turned her red gaze on you, arms crossing over her chest. “Not Karric.” You hold up your hands in weak surrender.

 

“Yes, you’re right. I just didn’t know he told--”

 

“I /heard/ you both talking.” She tilted her chin up at you, challengingly. Definitely not the meek scared child you found at the hotel door. “Y/N and Bodhi.” Well, so much for that. Resigned you nod in agreement and move to sit in the co-pilot’s chair.

 

“Guess you weren’t sleeping all those times, huh?” You can’t help but smile some, you wondered how much she heard. She looked serious, too serious for someone so young. Her hair was a mess though, she needed it combed and probably tied back. You shook your head clear of the thought. “Alright then, Bodhi. What did the scan say?”

 

He gave you a quick smile, looked to Zhara. “Want to show her?”

 

“No.” The Chiss child said in a bit of a huff.

 

“Oh well, then I will.” You waited as the scene played out. Bodhi moved his hand slowly toward the display buttons and Zhara watched impatiently before moving forward quickly and pressing it. The planet pulled up on the screen and Bodhi laughed. “Alright, thank you Zhara.” She wanted to keep pouting but a smile creeped into her face.

 

“Can I press the next one?” She asked moving to do so.

 

“Wait, we have to talk first.” He told her as he looked to you, a half smirk tugging at his lips. Bodhi was loving this. He’d make a good father one day. You didn’t know he’d be so good with children. His voice brought you back to the present as he ran over the reports. Volcanic, but not active. Hot. Bearable. Enough places to hide a base in the craggy cliff sides. “We flew over a few spots and grabbed some captures to take back in the report.”

 

“We?” At your question Zhara beams at you.

 

“I helped!” She chirped and pressed the next button. You sigh but smile. At least she seemed more open, even if a little snippy.

 

“Thank you, Zhara.” You said encouragingly. Maybe she’ll start to like you more too. “Mind if I talk to Bodhi alone. Just about the boring things?” You ask, facing her fully so she knows your attention is fully on her. She squirms under your gaze, even as gentle as you make it.

 

“Fine.” She said quickly and darted out of the cockpit. Her footsteps don’t make it very far. Both of you notice and Bodhi seems to do his best to hold back a laugh.

 

“I know you’re right there, Zhara!” You call out to her and then there’s the sound of clamoring feet as she sprints the rest of the way down the hall. You sigh and settle back in your chair and stare at the screen.

 

“She’s a good kid. Smart too. Fast learner.” Bodhi said admiringly as he turns to mess with the dials bringing up new information.

 

“You’re good with her.” You pause, then the thoughts from early bubble up. “You’d make a good dad one day.” You don’t turn your head but try to side glance his reaction. Bodhi stiffens, his hand stills at the controls before smiling, just slightly.

 

“No… I don’t think I would.” He finally said ducking his head a little. You reach out touch his arm, his gaze slowly turns toward you.

 

“You would.” You say again, making sure he’s looking at you when you say it. He slowly offers a smile in response and you give his arm a squeeze.  You share a moment of silence before you find yourself speaking again. “Did we get all we need then?” Your hand drifts away and he straightens.

 

“Yes. We’ll need to make one stop to refuel and one extra stop to make sure we’re not followed and then we can go home.” He remarked. He blinked owlishly a moment, as if realizing something about what he’d just said. You give him a smirk, and a small punch to the arm.

 

“We can go home.” You agree. Because the Rebellion, where ever it is stationed, is home now. The look he gives you, something between longing and understanding, makes your heart clench. He leans forward and you don’t move, afraid of what to do. He hovers between contact and pulling away. He eventually settles back in his chair, and you let out a breath you’d been holding.

 

“Hey, I got this up here.” You give him a way to leave. He probably needs to move some anyway. “Zhara looks like she could use a hairbrush and a snack.” You say nudgingly. That makes him laugh a moment. “I doubt she’d let me get close enough. Go test those dad skills out.” You joke as you look through the last of the information. “I’ll get us up and into hyperspace and join you in a bit.”

 

Finally it seems he breaks into a shy grin and stands. This time it’s him giving you a tentative kiss on the temple. You both have been testing where you stand with each other, without words. Maybe once you rendezvous with the rest of the fleet you’ll sit him down to talk about it. Hopefully it’s not all in your head either.

 

*******************

 

After hitting hyperspace you take your time before heading into the cabin. You have your first coordinates set for a fuel stop, the ship can auto pilot for a bit. You watch space again, flying past you. You do your best thinking here. Right now though, you can’t seem to get sucked into it. Your mind is elsewhere. Still on the ship, you realize, but with the man entertaining a child in the back. This is the longest mission you’ve had with another person in a while. You’ve gotten to know Bodhi Rook better than most on base. He’s allowed you to, you realize. But he’s still anxious and afraid. It’s in his quiet moments, in his touches and inflections. You know he can fake confidence, and that he has his things to work out. But you can’t help but think that maybe there’s more, at least between the two of you, than trust.

 

You get up and wander towards the cabin, watching the floor a moment before stopping at the threshold of the ship’s room. Bodhi has Zhara seated sideways on the couch in front of him. Her hair is braided back in a sleek black plait. He’s got a hair tie in between his teeth and he’s smiling as he braids the last few inches. Zhara’s got her head tucked down, she’s talking softly but she looks relaxed and at ease with him. He finishes off her hair, wrapping the tie around the end and asking if it’s too tight. She shakes her head and pops up off the couch. Excited, happy. Already far from the unsure girl at the door. It’s probably a front but she seems genuinely okay with Bodhi. The smile he gives her could move the stars.

 

It moves your heart. You can’t help but feel love for him.

 

Your mother once tried to explain the lullaby and you were always caught up on the idea of Twin Stars.

 

_“But what does that mean.” Your tiny voice whined. She laughed and tucked some hair behind your ear._

 

_“Twin stars, they orbit each other. They are made the same and are drawn to each other always.” Your brow furrowed a moment and she smoothed it over with a rough thumb and smiled. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”_

  
You think you understand now. As he stands, proud as a can be and beams at you. You understand that he has your heart. You wonder if you have his too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient! Star Wars Celebration as a blast! I got to meet Riz and he was amazing! It's finals week for school but with the website being inconveniently down I decided to finish up this chapter.

You’re almost to the rendezvous point, just one more jump to make. It’ll have been the fourth jump. You made one pit stop for some food, mainly for Zhara and a quick nap before popping off to this location. You feel the ship slip from hyperspace while in the cabin. So far the trip home had been quiet. Zhara made some complaints and one tantrum but otherwise she’s listened to Bodhi and tolerated you. You still can’t figure out what has brought on this dislike but as long as she’s not causing a fuss, you’ll just look past it. You get up from the lounge and walks past the Chiss child, she’s reading through some holonet news on a datapad. Guess there’s nothing better to do. With a soft sigh you walk up toward the cockpit, bare feet making no sound against the cool metal of the ship’s floor.  You stop when you hear a muttering of ‘stay calm, stay calm’. _What’s going on?_ You think as you see if you can’t head more than that. But why wait?

 

“Bodhi?” You ask as you round into the room and what you see almost sends you stumbling. In the viewport, lingering by a nearby planet, is an imperial star destroyer. It seems to be in orbit around the planet ahead of you and is sure to cause some trouble.

 

“Shh, I got this. I’m making our calculations.” He said almost in a nervous snap, as you settle into the co-pilot’s chair. His fingers are flying across the buttons and you would help if you knew what his plan is. “I just need them not to notice until-”

 

The speaker on the console buzzed making both of you wince. A cold sensation settled into your stomach and you reached out to rest a hand on Bodhi’s shoulder.

 

“Kriffin-”

 

“Cargo Ship, identify yourselves.” Came the caller on the other side. Bodhi hesitates long enough for you to pull away from him and pick up a headset.

 

“This is Viera Kymeri and Karric Scanat on the cargo ship _Stinger._ ” You said looking to Bodhi, he scrambles to his own headset. You turn off your comm to let them respond and look from Bodhi to the ship. You whisper softly. “What do we tell them?” Had they made a plan for this? They probably had but whatever it was has flown from your mind.

 

“I have an idea. Don’t worry.” He nodded and waited for a response. The comm crackled back to life.

 

“You are in a restricted area.” The voice cold and short. It annoys you how all imperial officers sound the same.

 

“Yes, sorry.” Bodhi chimed in as his fingers flew over the board in front of him. “We had pulled out of hyperspace to check on something that got knocked out of place. We will be on our way in just-”

 

“Cargo Ship Stinger, prepare to be-”

 

“Punch it.” Bodhi whispered. You fly into action and with a prayer that Bodhi got the coordinates right, slam the ship into hyperspace. The panic you both had held back bubbled to the surface. You glance to him standing and taking off the headset.

 

“Where’d you-”

 

“Not to the point.” He said standing to face you taking your shoulders a moment, as if trying to settle your nerves.

 

“Then where?” You whisper sharply. You watch his features and a bit of uncertainty crosses them.

 

“I’m…. not sure. It was the only one I could remember off the top of my head….” Bodhi pulls away and walks over to the navi and pulls up their route, you lean over his shoulder. It’s not too far, you notice. The ship will pull out of hyperspace in an hour but…

 

“Eadu?” You say but you realize it makes sense.

 

“I flew there often…. Often enough to memorize the code…” He murmured and looked over to you. “There shouldn’t be Imperials there…”

 

“‘Shouldn’t’ isn’t a comforting word.” You sigh and pulled back. “Let get ready to jet out of there as soon as we can. If we’re too late getting back to the fleet they’ll leave without us and it’ll be hell finding the new point again.” You draw your hand down your face and relax just a bit.

 

“Y/N…” Bodhi’s use of your name is almost a question. You give a soft hum in return. “That was Dantooine.” You drop your hand and frown.

 

“What was?”

 

“The place we stopped, it was Dantooine. The alliance once had a base there I wonder… if they’re checking out old places…” Bodhi frowned and you follow suit as similar thoughts cross your minds.

 

“Maybe… and that’s trouble for us, but maybe the imperials will spread themselves thin doing that… I’ll add it to the log.” Wanting to write it down while the situation as fresh, you turn from the computer to find Zhara standing in the doorway, a dark mark on her cheek. You wince a bit, she wasn’t braced for the second jump, she must have hit something. “Hey… let’s get you-”

 

“No.” Her voice was strongly defiant. “I want to go home.” Defiant but you could hear it about to crack. The game she must have made of coming with us was losing its draw and she wanted out.

 

“Zhara-” You start again but she lets out a scream, tears welling up in red eyes. Tired. She’s tired, and she’s realizing she’s not going back to her father. She scared. You wince and Bodhi swoops trying to smooth back her hair and comfort her but the she even resisted him. Screaming at him about taking her back to home right now. Bodhi was going to try to sweet talk her to a calmer state but you cut in.

 

“Zhara!” Your voice snaps. The cockpit goes silent. “You can’t go back home..., I’m sure your father told you. Maybe one day, but not today.” You move to kneel in front of her as Bodhi lets her go. “You have been a brave girl. You’re smart and brave and I need you to keep being both.” You voice is stern, something almost refreshing it seems because she relaxes. “We just escapes from some bad men, I’m sorry we didn’t warn you.” You reach out and touch her bruised cheek. She doesn’t pull away for once. “Let Bodhi put some ice on it, give you a bacta patch or something. Read the news to him. So he can report back to me.” You give her a wink because for the moment she’s paying attention and doesn’t seem to hate you. She gives a slow nod in return.

 

“Yes, I’ll be right there, Go find a place to sit…” Bodhi said urging her along. Zhara shuffled back, looking more like at the hotel door than she had the whole trip. You both watched her go and when she was out of sight and good bit down the hall your whole body sagged in a strange relief. Bodhi then turned to you and pulled you in for a tight embrace. Your arms automatically encircle him, pressed your face into his neck for a moment. All the tension released for your body.

 

“You are amazing.” He murmured and as he pulled away, not letting you get too far as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. The phrase confuses you. You didn’t feel that you did much in those last moments.

 

“But.. I…” You stammer but he silences you as he presses his forehead to yours, noses grazing. Your heart races and you feel yourself blush. _What’s he doing?_ Your mind repeats over and over. It’s just the two of you, alone in the cockpit, like so many times before. _What’s he doing?_

 

“Yes, you.” He said softly, then a sense of anxiousness seemed to settle into his frame before he hesitantly brushed his lips against yours, lingering for a moment before pulling back just a bit. “Just in case I’m wrong... about Eadu…. “ He murmured, then pulled away a bit awkwardly, as if he’s just noticed what he’s done. One hand lingers for a moment against your cheek before he almost runs off down the hallway. Your hand covers your mouth a moment and you laugh softly. You always thought you’d have to make the first real move.

 

Sighing you settle into the pilot’s seat and stare back out at the stars flying by.

 

\--------------------------------

 

Luckily for the both of you, Eadu is quiet and abandoned upon arrival. But you don’t linger. You put replace the coordinates to meet the rebel fleet and settle back into the hyperspace stream. You had launched further from the point, it may take more than a couple hours to get there, but you can relax now. You slouch in the pilot’s chair, ready for food, maybe a neck rub and just some time on you back to let it rest. A soft snort escapes you, _on your back? Not like that_ you tell yourself as you meander down the hall.

 

You lean against the doorway as you see him, your pilot, leaning over and drawing a blanket over Zhara. He smoothed back some of her hair, which settles loosely around her on the couch. It’s a sight for the books. This man, like many in this war, has survived so much and instead of it making him hard he is still so gentle. He lifts his head as he straightens and a twitch of a smile tugs at his lips at the sight of you.

 

“How’s she feeling?” You ask as you take careful steps forward, unsure if she’s a light sleeper or not.

 

“Fine. Better.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, he’s nervous. “She’s smart, she understands the whole…” He shrugged and frowned a bit. “Situation.” You rest a hand on the back of the couch and look down at her.

 

“I didn’t mean to snap at her…”

 

“I think she needed it.” Bodhi said shifting a bit. A silence filled the space, between you, and he slowly closed it, walking closer till he was at arm’s length. He shifted from foot to foot, head ducked down as he built up the courage to speak. Finally he snapped his head up and looked at you.  “Listen, if I was out of line-” He started talking soft and fast and you covered your mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Maybe he mistook the gesture because he looked even more crestfallen. You take his hand, he tenses at your touch but as you pull him along he begins to relax.

 

In another room, similar to the one they left, secluded but not far from where Zhara slept, you turn to him. He’s looking sheepish, not at all the confident man from the cockpit. Or well, you know he’s confident, but the area of the heart makes everyone a little different. You squeeze his hand lightly, which draws his gaze to your hands and then up to your face.

 

“You were right, about Eadu.” You murmur, putting in warmth and amusement into the quiet words. Bodhi’s lips twitch and a smile appears, a very Bodhi smile, not the one he’s picked up being Karric.

 

“I was..” He agree quietly.

 

“Your quick thinking saved our skins back at Dantooine.” You move your free hand to rest on his shoulder giving it a squeeze. Your hand slides up to rest lightly on the back of his neck. A soft panic reaches his eyes but he stills and relaxes as your fingers trail a scar near his hairline. His hand slips from yours and settles on your waist, they seem shaky but they steady out with something to hold onto. Bodhi sways forward slightly.

 

“I did…” He breathes and closes his eyes. You take it in a moment before pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

 

“You’re a great pilot.” You laugh softly and are about to say more when he spoke, you almost missed it, even from this close.

 

“I’m…” You try to draw back, to better see and hear him, but his hands are vice like on your waist, he shakes gently. “I’m the pilot.” His voice is almost strained. He continues saying the phrase a strange painful mantra.

 

“Bodhi?” His eyes are opened and unfocused as he stares just past you. He repeats the words again and you realize what’s happening. _Panic, he’s having a panic attack._ “Bodhi.” You say a bit more firmly as his breathing begins to accelerate. You try a different idea and you shift your hands you his cheeks and trying to ground him with touch. You wish your hands were cooler. You wonder how you can help him now. He still holds on tight, almost bruising. Your breath hitches a moment and you tilt his head some to look at you. “Bodhi. Hey.. You’re here…” You’re trying to remember how to calm PTSD soldiers. “You’re safe.” This doesn't seem right but his eyes seem to skitter back and forth, trying to get his bearing, or watching something unseen.

 

“I’m the pilot…” He wheezes the final one softly and you sigh, just pulling him into a gentle hug, resting your forehead against his shoulder.

 

“Yes, Bodhi. You’re the pilot.” He cracks, fingers flexing at the points where they had been digging into your skin. You lift your head some and his body falls heavy into yours, as if weak. He trembles still and you just hold him quietly both in comfort and in trying to keep him standing. Eventually you take a knee and he follows so easily. “You’re safe. You’re with me.” You finally say again as hands grasp at the back of your jacket. You think you hear a soft ‘I know’. You close your eyes and rest the side of your head lightly against his, it’s almost a nuzzle, but more of a comfort, he curls into more, face pressing down into your neck, limbs wrapping around as if he could hide from his terrors inside you. “I’m sorry…” You said softly. “Whatever I said… I’m sorry.”  He doesn’t answer, his breathing starts to even out, his body shakes less, and he feels heavier, like the attack wore him out so much he’d fall asleep.

 

“Bodhi.” You sigh and rub at his back a little. “Let’s get to the couch?” He moves, a sort of affirmation and you both move to stand and he hesitates in pulling away. His eyes are bloodshot, he looks paler, you didn’t notice before but he must have cried a little as his cheeks were damp. You reach out smoothing it over and he leans into the touch. “Come on.”

 

He swallows thickly and follows as you move away, but he captures your hand, so to not break the contact. Its a few steps to the seating area, and at the first chance he gets Bodhi practically collapses into it, his body sinking into the cushions. You sit sideways facing him, hand still in his. He seems to go back and forth between here and distant. Slowly, you lift his hand to your lips and place a kiss to his knuckles. His shoulders drop, and he closes his eyes turning his head away some.

 

“Bodhi, it’s alright.” You reassure him, trying to still find ways to bring him level. His lips move wordlessly and then delayed, he speaks.

 

“No… It’s not…” His voice sounds cracked and graveled. Like he’d been tensing every muscle in his neck while having the short episode. Well, short to an outsider, but to him it may have felt forever. You don’t know what to say, but you know that if you let the silence hang it could be seen incorrectly.

 

“You said you’d trust me, with your scars and moments like this….” You begin and he does his best not to look at you but slowly those dark eyes turn your way. “Then trust me. It’s alright.” You reach out to cup his cheek. “You’ve been to hell and back and you are still sweet and kind, funny and caring and strong.” A sigh shudders through him. “I don’t know what triggered it, and I’m sorry. But listen to me.” He looks at you, weary and tired, but he’s here and he’s focused. You have words rattling in your chest. ‘I think I love you’ ‘I know I love you.’ ‘Trust me.’ ‘Lean on me.’ and it all never reaches your lips. Instead you lean forward placing a kiss to his check, then another gently to his temple and as he closes his eyes you place one there to then finally to his forehead and rest your forehead there, like you both had done times before. He stays still, breathing evened out, eyes closed, and feeling cooler to the touch, and heat of panic having left his skin.

 

“Let’s sleep. We’ve got a few hours or so….” He nods and pauses before shifts from your touch. You know he’s going to slink off somewhere, but you hold him, not too firmly, but just enough. “You can stay. Rest with me…” Bodhi looks you over, something running through his mind before he settles back on the couch. You lean back, and like that night on base, he follows, limb after limb until he’s resting practically on you. His head nestled against yours, arms curling around you, legs entangling. He’s not heavy now, he feels tiny and thin. You hum softly, hoping it’s helping him relax, and by the end of the small old tune you think he’s fallen asleep. You close your eyes to follow. But softly, next to you, Bodhi murmurs.

  
“Thank you…”


	8. Chapter 8

“This data is good, detailed.” You cast a glance toward Cassian as he talks. The scene is familiar, you and Cassian stand alone in a room. You aren’t fresh though, just fresh off the ship, which mean disheveled and still in smuggler gear. The glowing data is in front of you. This time instead of names and different planets there’s just one planet, the one you gathered informtaion from. You nod and glance back to the holo.

 

“It was easy to get. Aside from coming back with more crew than we left with.” You sigh and reach out to tap on a part of the planet, which zoomed into view, bringing to view canyons and crags far from volcanic areas. “The planet is suitable-”

 

“It is but we’re going with a different one.” Cassian noted, cutting you off before you get too invested in the conversation.

 

“Wait, what?” You blurt out, surprised, though you shouldn’t have been. “But we haven’t even presented-”

 

“It’s still good information. But you took a little longer and they went with one that came back faster and was just as acceptable.” The captain assured you, but you still frowned some. It still made you feel like the trip was a waste. You said it was an easy trip but you could have gotten blasted at Dantooine. What was the point? You turn your frown and furrowed brow back to the holo. Sensing unease, Cassian sighed and turned you, a hand firm on your shoulder. “It’s a good place for a base when the new one surely goes under. They always do. You proved me wrong, you and Bodhi did well.” He released your shoulder and popped out the data key. Blinking you look back at him. A compliment from Cassian Andor? It made you smirk abit.

 

“Everyone made it back?” You asked as he pocketed the data.

 

“Yes. Some had trouble, one planet didn’t get scouted. But we found one out in the outer rim. Hoth.” You groan and he laughs. “Yeah, that was about everyone’s feeling so far.”

 

“Well… I guess I should stock up on cold weather gear if we get near a port.” You mumbled and nod to the door. “I’m going to see what decision has been made about Zhara.”

 

“The Chiss girl?” He asked curiously. You nod. “Strange predicament that is.” He notes quietly. “I’d be careful.” The phrase has you pausing a moment, brows knitting briefly before smoothing out. _Careful?_ Did he know something you didn’t? Maybe some prejudice against the more unknown race. They come from unknown space and the only Chiss name that had been in everyone’s rumors was Thrawn. But this was a child. You hoped that their group would look past it.

 

“Of course…” You then give him a halfhearted salute. “Cassian.”

 

“Y/n.” He said and he waited and watched you go.

 

_That’s enough thinking for the day_. You run your hand back through your hair and you let your mind go blank. You are hoping to find your way to one of two places, whatever sufficed as a place for food or your own bunk. Instead you seem to bounce from person to person. Wedge asking about the trip. Hobby telling you someone needs to meet with you. Rin trying to point you in the right direction, though you think she’s probably just messing with you. Somehow, you find yourself back in the hangar and you give up. You stare out the opening, through the seal, out at space. The hangar is filled with the soft buzz of droids and machinery, but it seems mostly empty otherwise. You let you mind wander again, back to the ship, back to Bodhi, to whatever you had said wrong. He never brought it up, but he hasn’t exactly had time to. When you landed you were escorted to a debriefing and then separated, Bodhi being sent with Zhara to talk with some higher ups and you sent to talk to Captain Andor. The scene plays in your mind for a bit, but you feel the itch for sleep. Maybe you’d just take a nap there in the Hangar. Maybe there were rations left in the _Stinger_. You hum at that thought. It would be quiet in there too, but you’d rather just stay where you were, which was resting back against some cargo crates. You were about to let yourself drift when your comm buzzed.

 

“Lieutenant L/N.” You say, letting your tiredness show as you answer the call without checking.

 

“Lieutenant? I didn’t-Okay, no. Focus.” It was Bodhi, and he sounded a bit frantic. “Zhara’s gone missing. She ran when we were talking to Senator Leia and we can’t seem to find her.” He was fast talking now and talking faster as he got to the end of his breath.

 

“Bodhi. Breathe.” You said, head reeling as your mind chugs to full alertness. You already are looking across to the _Stinger_ , again. “Were you guys far from the hangar?” You ask, but you’re already moving to the ship. She, like you, has only been on this ship for not long and, like you, is wanting something familiar.

 

“No. Not really.” He seems deep in thought.

 

“She can’t have gone far and she only knows the way from you back to our ship. The only place she’s been.” You’re already at the ramp to the ship.

 

“How do you know?” He said, you can hear him panting, he must be running.

 

“Because I did the same thing. I’ll see if she’s inside.” You said and began to walk up into the ship.

 

“I’ll be there soon.” He said before the comm shut off as you get into the entrance area of the ship. You walk into the living space you and Bodhi had called home for the past mission. Children lean towards familiarity, so do lost and homesick people. She was all of the above.

 

“Zhara.” You call softly to the room. For a moment, you weren’t sure if she’d answer. However, slowly, you see her peeking out from over the back of the lounger. Red eyes watching you with quiet weariness before she ducked back down again. With a sigh, both in relief and slight frustration, you walked over to where she was curled up on the cushions and settled down beside her. You let the comfort of being present speak instead of words. She wasn’t alone, and the animosity that the child had toward you had faded for the most part. It was coaxing a frightened animal, time and patience took hold and she pushed herself up and looked at you. The child had been crying.

 

“Alright, come here.” You say turning toward her some, using your sleeve to dry her face, she fakes trying to push away and then just resigns to it. “You scared Bodhi, you know.”

 

“No I didn’t.” She said in a soft whisper of defiance. But then you both hear boots clattering up the ramp and like clockwork Bodhi is there, calling out Zhara’s name. You give her a knowing look before nodding in his direction. She gets the drift and pushes herself off the couch before walking toward where he was frantically looking. “Here!” She said and disappeared into the hall.

 

You can hear the reunion. Bodhi’s sounds of relief and Zhara’s soft ‘I’m fine.’ There’s a talk that you don’t listen in on, but you can imagine in your head, of Bodhi on his knees infront of her, both keeping his franticness inside as he tries to be both stern and concerned. Zhara nodding and staring at the floor before they hug. Maybe that’s what happened, but all you know is they walk in together, Zhara held on Bodhi’s hip and you can’t help but smile at his face of gratitude. You stand up and walk over to them.

 

“So, we both got lost.” You tell Bodhi before he can launch into ‘thank you’s or whatever else wants to tumble from his lips. “Let’s find some food and get some real sleep.” He seems to still want to say something, lot of things but instead you give his shoulder a squeeze and just say. “Later…”

 

“Alright.” He finally says and bobs his head a few times. “We’ve been given quarters together for the moment until they can rearrange things. I was also informed about how to get some food too.”

 

“Well, you’ve gotten more useful information than me. I got sent on a wild goose chase.” You snort a soft laugh and nudge Zhara’s arm. “Ready to go?”

 

The whole ordeal took two hours. But finally they got some food and brought it back to their small temporary room. It had one set of bunk beds, a footlocker and a desk. You give it a dubious look. Assuming that Zhara gets her own bed, you’d be bunking with Bodhi, but the beds barely could fit one full grown human. Zhara settles in on the top bunk with a snack and you both silently find a place to sit. The whole room quiet and sleepy. Bodhi settled on the bed and you pulled over the chair from the desk. By the time you sit you can already hear the snores from the child above you.

 

“Here…” Bodhi’s voice draws you back from being lost in the nothingness of exhaustion. He holds out a sandwich and you smile taking it.

 

“Thanks.” You said, almost sighing before taking a bite. Your eyes flutter close a moment. It’s not as good as the Jedha snacks from your trip but it’s better than every ration you’ve had on the mission. A happy hum escapes you as you eat and open your eyes to see Bodhi watching. A smile, small and private, on his lips. This moment has a sense of familiarity. The rooftop of the temple base. Was it all that long ago? “Hmm?” You swallow and lick at your lips. “What?” He laughed softly and your questions and just ducked his head lightly.

 

“Nothing.” The response almost a soft laughing huff, a hand working back through his hair and rubbing at his neck, a dumb smile on his face. You’re close enough, so you knock your knee against his. It startles his gaze back toward you, and you both smile in unison. It take a breath of a moment for you to decide to move, you shift and move to sit next to him, barely space between you. You set the sandwich on the chair. His eyes follow your movements, his feature go from relaxed to a bit more alert.

 

“I want to try this again…” You start and he blinks a few times, shifting on the bed the look at you.

 

“Try-” He was cut off as you leaned in, hands on his legs, and pressed a kiss to his lips. You lingered there, and felt hands cup your face, calloused, but gentle. He leans in for just a moment before pulling back. “What…” He breathed.

 

“You were right… about Eadu.” You muse softly and gently bump your forehead against his, heat rising in your cheeks. You try not to mess this up, as your heart clenches. “And I think…” You falter a moment. “I love you.” You close your eyes a moment, biting in worry at your lip. The next words you hear aren’t basic, but you feel a kiss on your cheek and you hear the words again and again. Your emotions swell, because you can only guess the meaning.

The pull is strong as you gravitate back to each other. Small kisses, touches, gentle exploration that neither of you had taken advantage of before. But it was cut short by the sound of movement above you. It probably wasn’t the best time of this, you think in hindsight. Obviously. Bodhi pulls back first and stands some to check on Zhara. This gives you both a moment to sort out thoughts, feelings, and needs.

 

“She’s still asleep.” He said, his voice low as he glances down to you. You nod, cheeks still flush as you smirk a bit.

 

“Good.” You have to look away for a moment, picking up your momentarily forgotten sandwich and resealing it in its package for later and setting it back on the chair.. There’s a smile on his face when you look back. It’s warm, and a bit goofy. You wrap your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his stomach while you look up at him. “What were you saying before?” You ask as his fingers comb through your hair.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“It wasn’t in basic…”

 

“Oh?...oh!” He smiles. “I hadn’t realized…” He holds up a hand and then disentangles himself from you. He sits next to you, kicking off his boots and then moving to lay down. “Here, come here.” He hasn’t answered your question but you follow suit, kicking off your own boots and lying next to him on the slim bed, or well trying.

 

“This isn’t going to work.”

 

“Ye of little faith.” He said softly with humor and after some adjustments, you come to rest you head on his chest, laying on your alongside him. You both just barely fit. He takes up your hand, that hand been resting on his torso and thumbs over your palm a moment before sliding his fingers between yours. “I said ‘ _Ana Bahebek_ ’ *****. It means ‘I love you.’ ”

 

“It’s spoken on Jedha?” You ask looking up some to watch his expression.

 

“Yes. Among most that were born and raised there.” His voice is careful, memories threatening to take him down a still fresh wound. You draw him back to you with a phrase of you own.

 

“We don’t have a separate language on Jelucan, but we have a phrase…” You shift up, raising yourself onto one arm.  Bodhi gives you a curious look, and he seems amused even past the exhaustion you both feel settling back in. “When two people’s paths continue to cross, and they draw closer and closer, they say they are Twin Stars.” You already feel that your mother could explain it better. In some confusion, Bodhi begins to frown.

 

“But that can mean-” You give him a look before he gets too far.

 

“It means they have the same hearts-” You move your entwined hands over his heart. “-and are destined to collide. It can mean friends, but on Jelucan it just means people in love.” You make a soft hum. “Or people who seem destined to be…” He watches you, he seems to be mulling over what you’ve said. But with the threat of sleep looming over you, you struggle a bit to get out more words to better explain yourself. You start but Bodhi has slipped his hand out from yours and cupped your cheek. Rough fingertips sliding over and your skin as they move to the back of your neck, with a slight bit of pressure he draws you back down. Your head rests once again against his shoulder.

 

“Let’s talk more, later.” He murmurs and then all at once it seems like you can’t keep your eyes open, the warmth of being near him draining the last of your energy. You nuzzle into him for just the briefest of moments, he murmurs something else. It’s not the words from before, but still in his language. But it flutters away as sleep takes you under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ana Bahebek is 'I love you' in arabic when speaking to a female. (If I got it right, please correct me if I'm wrong). I fought with myself long and hard on whether or not to use Arabic in this or use a made up language. I may change this later but for now I settled with this as Jedha reminds me of the name of the Saudi Arabia city of Jeddah.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. My last semester of grad school was killer, and then a lot of things happened, including Hurricane Irma. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

Later never came.

 

Bodhi was instructed to take Zhara somewhere the next day and then you didn’t see him. Not just for a day but for a week and more. You tried not to worry, and command kept you busy. But night after night was a reminder as you came back to an empty silent room. You sat on the edge of the bed, and fiddled with your datapad. No new messages. Not a word from anyone. You tried sending a few messages but nothing ever came back. You wonder if there’d be more of a moment to breath at Hoth. But this was a war you were fighting. Those few moments back on Yavin were brief and happy and rare. You tossed the pad aside and scrubbed your hands over your face in frustration. You already figured if both of them were missing then maybe they had found a place for Zhara. But where would you take a Chiss child when you were on the run from the empire and were a known traitor?

 

The door to the room slid open and you stood up quickly, knocking your head a moment on the bed above you with a sharp hiss. Your eyes water from the pain as you glance to a figure looking a bit unamused in the doorway. _Bodhi?_ The figure moved toward you as if to check on you but stopped. _No…_

 

“Cassian?” You asked as you blinked him into clarity. He glances behind him as you rub the sore spot on your head and came away from the bed more. Cassian closes the door and the room falls into silence for a brief moment. He finally spoke after he deemed it okay to.

 

“I came to check on you.” His tone was different, the words of concern sounded odd from his lips.

 

“What…” You started but he cut you off.

 

“You’ve been distracted. It’s been noticed by some of the higher officers and before someone else got to you I figured-”

 

“You figured you’d lecture me instead?” It was a question not of anger but confusion. But the words were wrong, you could tell from the frustrated look on his face.

 

“No-” He sighed, his hands seemed to constantly move, to his face down to his hips, across his chest as he wrestled with words. Finally he settled for hands on his hips and ducked his head some before looking right at you. “Is it because of Bodhi?” You flushed gently, a bit embarrassed a bit indignant, it’s none of his business. You turned your head away and crossed your arms over your chest. “So yes…” He looked his own form of flustered and threw his hands up. “I knew they should have sent you along… but they need you here.”

 

“Cassian what-”

 

“They wanted you to stay to help with setup. They couldn’t spare more than one and the girl seemed to get along with Bodhi well…” He sighed a moment. “He’s been directed to take her somewhere safe. There’s a few orphanages under the rebellion that will take her-” You let out a bark of a laugh that stopped Cassian in his sentence.

 

“Wait, they asked Bodhi to take a child to an orphanage alone? You know he can’t leave her. He’s too… too-”

 

“Soft. Yes, I agree. He’s also not allowed to make contact with us until he’s back in case anything gets intercepted….But it’s been a while.”

 

“Been a bit longer than that..” You grumbled, but Cassian pushed on.

 

“And no one’s going to say it, but I’m worried too.” Cassian watched as your face faltered a moment. If he was worried, then there was true worry to be had. He noticed the small spark of panic in your eyes as you rushed forward toward him. The other was already holding his hands up to steady you. “Listen. I’ve already secured you a ship. I’ll hand off the coordinates to where he was supposed to go. Use them as a guide. I really don’t think they’ll miss one more person right now.” You break through his small hand blockade and hug the Captain tight. He tensed in surprise but slowly wrapped his arms around you in return.

 

“Thank you, I owe you.” You say quietly.

 

“Bring him back….” He said in return before pulling away and settling his hands on your shoulders. He gives them a small squeeze, as if it’ll instill some luck. “I wish I could lend you K2 for this but you need to be flying under the radar. Pack a few things, I’ve left some credits in the _Stinger_ for you. Just enough to get you started but the rest is on you.” He dug in his pocket and held out a data chip, with a nod you take it and shove it in your own pocket. He turned to leave then hesitated before saying, “May the force be with you.” With that he ducked back out the door.

 

You waste no time in packing a bag. _The Stinger…_ Cassian must mean you to go in alias. Your bag ends up not being much, clothes, some hidden rations, hold out blaster and the credits. The whole time from then until reaching the ship all you can think of is you hope that Bodhi is just sitting somewhere with Zhara because he couldn’t give her up. And not something more in line with pirates or imperials. You don’t even know what ship he took to get there. You find yourself starting up the ship, prepping for takeoff. Manning the _Stinger_ single handedly wouldn’t be easy, but it’s doable. You can rest easier once you hit light speed.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The first two places were a bust. Not the orphanages or the ports had heard of the vague description of the people you were searching for.  What’s worse is that these orphanages had been nice and well protected in their spots. You would have left the girl in their care instead of bringing her to Hoth. You sigh as you step back into the _Stinger_ and close the hatch. The silence and lack of people to talk to has been a bit of an annoyance. Or more so lonely. How’d you do it before? The life of a Starfighter pilot meant lots of time alone in a cockpit. Maybe it was the size of the ship, and knowing other people should be in it with you.

 

Slowly you drop onto the couch and pick up the data pad you left behind. You bought a new one, used and cleared out, to try to reach Bodhi on. Day after Day still brought nothing. Not even a lead. You still had one more system to check but there was the possibility Bodhi didn’t even try to go to these places.

 

Maybe if you put out a bounty for his alias? But you don’t have that kind of credits.

 

“Another fruitless day.” You grumble as you toss the datapad aside. You settle your head back against the couch and close your eyes. You run through new scenarios, trying to think like Bodhi, where would he go? You become so lost in thought you almost miss the soft ping of a notification on your datapad. At first, you ignore it. Then slowly you look over to the datapad. It takes a moment before you snatch it up and open the notification.

 

You stare at the screen, looking it over a few times. It read vaguely.

 

_Twin stars._

 

You knew it had to be Bodhi, but the ID for the sender was unknown. Maybe it was a test. You tried to remember the words he said to you.

 

“Ah!” You shake the screen some. “It’s… An… Annana?... No Ana… Bubbadek… no… FUCK.” You press the data pad to your face. “Think  think think….”  You try to recall the memory…

 

_He takes up your hand, that hand been resting on his torso and thumbs over your palm a moment before sliding his fingers between yours. “I said ‘Ana Bahebek’*. It means...”_

 

“I love you…” You sigh and pull the screen from your face, it’s a bit smudged now but you begin to type, prefacing with, _I don’t know how to spell it_ and then an attempted _Anna Baheabbek_. You know it’s incorrect looking at it, but you hope it works. You press send and wait.

 

And wait….

 

The screen flickers and it pings again. You sigh and then laughed with relief. It was a picture, stone walls. You’d know those walls anywhere. You rush up to the cockpit and bring up the Navigational charts, and put in new coordinates.

 

“I’m coming.” You said to the empty cockpit as you take off and minutes later hit hyperspace.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

The temple on the moon of Yavin 4 looked almost the way you had left it. It maybe had been checked over by the Empire, but most of the essential had been packed up and what remained wasn’t worth the Empire’s time. As you flew in closer you noticed the hangar bay doors were open. One ship resided inside, along with a cleared out space near it. You didn’t recognize the ship, but you assumed it had to be the one Bodhi took. You started landing procedure brought the _Stinger_ down in smooth. Then powered her down.

 

You sit in the ship for a while longer and just listen and wait. The whole building is eerily quiet, no people, no droids, no air or ground traffic. It almost seems like a ghost town, or well, temple. After realizing no one will be coming out to greet you, or attack you, you stand up and move to exit the ship, taking out your blaster just in case.

 

The ramp hissed as it went down and hit with a metallic clang that echoed in the mostly empty hangar. The humid air hits you and you already feel sweat prickling at your neck.  
  
You’d like to trust that all is well, that Bodhi is here, and dumbly safe with Zhara, but that survival instinct keeps you from running off to go find him. You don’t descend the ramp, waiting to hear foot fall. But instead you head a soft quiet hum. It takes a moment, and then you smirk. Bodhi must have rigged up the electricity, resourceful. Finally, you take your first steps down and into the hangar. The ship he brought here is small and unmarked, much smaller than the one you have. You wonder if Bodhi had to fuel up once more one the way over here.

 

You begin to move toward the doors that led toward what use to be dormitories. You try the old code to open it, and it works just fine. The hall is dark, but the electricity is running, you can hear it. He must be just powering small areas, conserving what he can make happen. But even in the dark, you know the layout of the temple. You go down the hall and make a turn, and another. Finally, towards the end, you see the soft glow of lamplight. It’s by the mess hall. You stop at the door, which is closed. Waiting, you listen. There doesn’t seem to be much sound, but the door makes it hard to tell. You see the lamp illuminates the pad and you put in the access code and the door slides open with a soft _kiissh_. There’s a clatter from the room and the quick shuffling of feet. One set? You slowly peek around the corner and see nothing but two trays of food and some utensils on the floor. You swallow thickly and then call out.

 

“Bodhi?” You voice carries through the room. “Bodhi?” You call again holstering your blaster and coming around the corner and into the room. Something peeks from behind the food service line and then the tension you carried and the tension of the room dropped as the pilot popped up from where he was.

 

“Y/N!” He calls out and grins, already moving to meet you. You see behind him a pair of red eyes peek at you. You want to have the ‘I knew it’ moment but instead you find yourself running up to meet Bodhi half-way, colliding into him with an almost bone breaking hug.

 

“You left, you didn’t come back, I was so worried.” You voice cracks slightly as you press your face into his neck and sigh.

 

“I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t find you to let you know. And I couldn’t message you…” He didn’t let go, Bodhi’s grip on you was tight, his hands fisting in your jacket, nose in you hair. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

 

You let the moment linger before you begin to pull away, he loosens his grip and his hands move to cup your face. He leans in, and you feel your face begin to heat up and you pull away further.

 

“Where’s Zhara?” You ask him, as if reminding him that there were other people around, one other to be exact. Bodhi looks a bit mortified, just for one moment, that he might have forgotten she was around. He moves back toward where they had been hiding.

 

“Zhara, it’s okay.” He said as he rounded the counter.

 

“I know…” She said, gentle, but loud enough for you to hear.

 

“Want me to remake lunch?” He asks crouching, his voice light and kind. He walked with her into the back and started making food again, talking with her all the while. You watched and settled at a table. Bodhi has been taking care of this child the whole time, he’s grown attached. You realize slowly that there’s no way you’d be able to bring him back with you to Hoth. You’d be breaking a promise to Cassian. You’d be breaking, possibly, loyalties to the Rebellion. Loyalties, where do yours lay? Where do his?

 

“Shit…. Shit shit shit…” You mutter to yourself and press your palms to your eyes. If you take the _Stinger_ fill her up with the fuel from Bodhi’s ship, and stockpiles of food and sellable things from the temple maybe you two could run off. And always be on the run. On the run from the Empire, and maybe now from the Rebellion. You run scenarios over and over in your head until a tiny _clack_ comes from in front of you as Bodhi sets a tray of food down. Nothing spectacular. But it’s hot and it’s not rations.

 

He sits next to you and watches you for a moment. Shifting, a little closer he turns his head toward you, eyes moving down as he finds words.

 

“What do you want to do?” His voice settles on your shoulders like comforting hands, it causes you to slouch and you shrug.

 

“I promised Cassian I’d bring you back...I don’t think I can…” Your brow wrinkles. “But if we don’t go back, then we’ve stolen their ships and resources…” His hand rests on your leg and you drop you own to cover his, leaning on him some. “Do we abandon another cause?” There’s a moment of silence, where both of you think and no food gets touched.

 

“You said.. Cassian sent you?” He asked resting his head against yours. You nodded slightly. “Then… maybe he knew we wouldn’t come back. He’s sneaky like that…”

 

The thought never occurred to you. But it seemed that also Bodhi was saying he didn’t want to go back. No more fighting. At least on the battlefield.

 

“Really?”

 

“I think it’s a possibility…” His lips twitched into a smile and you can’t help but lean in and kiss him. He accepts it and savors it like it’s his favorite dessert. His kisses move from your lips to across your cheek and to your forehead. “Stay. You, me, Zhara. We can make it work…”

 

 _Zhara…_ You look over to the girl, eating and pretending that you two weren’t here for a moment. You smile some.

 

“Of course I’ll stay. But we can’t live in the temple for-” You’re cut off by an excited whoop from Bodhi as he kisses you again. And again.

 

After some rest, and catching up, your night is spent in a familiar room, running over plans, navigation charts and places to lay low. Zhara sleeps in bed, and you and Bodhi share a mattress you had dragged in and put on the floor. A plan is made, which involves staying here for a little bit. But change is on the way, and hopefully it means you can settle down. Should you ever be needed, you know Cassian would have a way to find you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to end it here, but I will write an epilogue. Outside of everything else, this chapter was a struggle of where to go with it. I hope you enjoy it and that all these months of not writing didn't badly effect the story.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos I love feedback of anykind.


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